Life and Times of a Gay Guy

Sad Goodbye

2012-01-27T09:11:00.000-07:00

When I was a little kid, I was obsessed with Welcome Back Kotter. While my heart belonged to Vinnie Barbarino (aka a young John Travolta....I sent him fan letters with money to call me), I also had a crush on Juan Epstein or as any true WBK fan will know, "Juan Luis Pedro Felipo de Huevos Epstein" played by Robert Hegyes. I dunno...I was exploring my exotic taste at a young age. There was something about Epstein that I just loved. He was a fiercely proud "Puerto Rican Jew" a tough wise-cracking guy, and his walk.....as distincive as Barbarinos but wholly his own....sex-E.
I was thrilled when TV Land honored WBK and like many, I was shocked and saddened to see what time and poor health had done to my childhood crush. But Epstein was still there inside the talented actor who brought so many laughs to so many people.

The Sacramento Bee had a great piece on Robert Hegyes life:

"Hegyes was born May 7, 1951, in Perth Amboy, N.J. He graduated from what is now Rowan University in Glassboro, N.J., and worked as a substitute teacher between acting jobs before landing the part in "Welcome Back, Kotter."
After the show ended, he played Chico Marx onstage in a national touring production of "Groucho" with Kaplan in the title role. Hegyes later had a recurring part as Detective Manny Esposito on the 1980s TV police drama "Cagney and Lacey," did stand-up comedy and tried writing screenplays.
But he would be best remembered for "Welcome Back, Kotter."
"It's a job where I went to work and laughed every day," he told the Los Angeles Times in 1995. "So how do you beat that?"
Indeed....how do you beat that

Pop Culture Friday!

2012-01-27T00:10:00.003-07:00

It’s a Pop Consumerist’s dream this week, well it is for me at least, and I am going to enjoy it! I have my popcorn, rootbeer, chocolate and of course…my Forever Lazy (which is a knockoff of The Snuggie but with feet!) So be forewarned…..hands off the remote cause it’s all mine!

Friday January 27th, it’s Dateline “What Would You Do?” and the situation is gay marriage. The preview clip I saw had One man proposing to his partner and nearby fellow diners both supporting and freaking out. It looks to be GREAT!

Saturday or Sunday (I haven’t decided yet), it’s off to the movies to see Liam Nielson in “The Grey”. A bunch o’sweaty mens surviving in the arctic after a plane crash? Sign me up. Liam may be 65, but dayum….the man is hot.

Wednesday Feb 1st it’s Rupaul’s Drag Race Season 4!!!!! Halleloooo! I can’t wait to see Ru in all her fabulous glory and for the new crop of contestants to “Lip Synch…….fuh yah lifffffe”! I wrote Rupaul a fan letter a long time ago, he wrote back and called me “pumpkin”. True story.

Friday February 3rd it’s “Who Do You Think You Are?”!!! I’ve done the whole family history research thing and it was obsessively fun for me. I love watching most of the stars go through the same journey! In the season premiere, Martin Sheen tracks down his family history through Ireland and Spain. (Remember when he played the President of the US in the West Wing and verbally bitch-slapped that Dr Laura character over gay marriage??) --Love Martin!

Time Travel Thursday

2012-01-26T00:09:00.003-07:00

A sunny day, a beautiful meadow filled with blooming flowers? How could two men resist?

Today's Daily Aural is "Confessin That I Love You" By Rudy Vallee, 1930.

Queens Take Notice!

2012-01-25T11:36:00.003-07:00

LMAO at "Watermellon Fuckin Watermellon". (click post to see what I'm talkin bout)...Yup. It's that kinda day. BTW, "Rupaul's Drag Race" season 4 kicks off monday Jan 30!

Excuses

2012-01-25T00:05:00.000-07:00

Words have power. Fag. Slut. Degenerate. Doomed to Hell. Mistake. Deviant. Worthless.

Choice.

A lot of attention has been given to Cynthia Nixon’s recent speech where she loudly proclaimed her “homosexuality was a choice” .

Some gays gave her a pass saying it was an intellectual truth. Others hauled out the spigot to roast her alive.

All over one powerful word: Choice.

Why all the hubub?

Because the gay rights movement has been fighting the fight for acceptance, the right to pursue our happiness and for our civil rights. Words have meanings. To say we, or anyone else chooses our sexuality is stupidity at it’s highest level. I would say a majority of gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgendered people know this.

But the sad truth is, that all it takes is one person with the platform of celebrity….a newbie no less, to get behind a microphone and open their uninformed big mouth to put each of us in danger.

For the gay kid who is trying to convince his homophobic family that he is not broken…for the gay couples just trying to raise their family…for the hot messes (said with affection) who simply want to walk down the street safely……Cynthia Nixon’s idiocy places us all in danger. Her celebrity….her words reach far and wide. That reach includes the people who demonize us….the people who want to make our very existence illegal and it gives them an argument…and an excuse. That’s another word that holds a lot of power: Excuse.

We don’t need anymore excuses….we can’t afford them.

Saturated With Stupidity

2012-01-24T00:32:00.002-07:00

The field has narrowed, but even with the losses of Bachmann, Cain and Perry, the GOP contenders still appear--to me-- much like circus clowns exiting a very small car.   The only difference is, one of these ereudite nutjobs might just snag his dream job.   (Well, except for Ron Paul of course.)

Frothy Mix, Gingrick, Mittens and Ron Paul (there's no nickname for him...cause after all, crazy is just kuh-ray-zee! It's a scary lineup.

Out of my 300 or so friends on FB, I'm amazed at how many educated professionals are rabid in their hatred for Obama.   The "Anyone BUT Obama" battle cry is heard loud and often.   Which makes me scratch my head and wonder where their vitriol is coming from.

I could lump them into stereotypical categories, like the Mormons who will vote for Mittens because the church says they should (hey it happened with Prop 8...remember that?). Or the Catholics who are practically humping Frothy Mixes leg because of his extreme hatred of sex, gays, and Obama. Or the wealthy manipulators like the Koch Bros who fund 'repentant adulterors' like Gingrick who just seems to hate or ignore every poor person or minority and wants to put your 9 year old to work as a janitor.
But could it be that simple?? Or is it pure economics...or race?   I don't know.

I listen to their ranting against President Obama and how they'll vote for ANYONE else and it just seems to me.....if they're going to vote for ANYONE else, that means they're gonna pick someone from the current lineup and those candidates are all just fucking nuts. So it's not for the betterment (is that a word?) of the country....it's because they hate the current President...the one guy who's actually trying to do his job.

Newt is doing really well now which just astounds me. A FB friend of mine, Mike who has a page titled "Democrats for Victory in 2012" wrote:

"Once again the family values crowd has proven that they actually have no family values. They vote for the clown that married his high school teacher only to dump her for a younger model. He cheats on his second wife with his congressional aid while impeaching the president for the same thing. He talks trash about black people having no role models and being destined for welfare. He screwed the taxpayer when he gave himself and the republicans in the house intrest free loans via overdrafting the congressional checking accounts. What do you have to do before an evangelical will not vote for you?.. Is the line being born black? It seems as long as you're a chubby little white feller you can do whatever you want and they'll send you money and love . They have convicted Barack for operating a country while black. What a pathetic bunch of hillbilly pricks."

I consider that pure fucking poetry.

While channel surfing tonight, I landed on the GOP debate and literally said out loud..... verbatim "Not another fucking debate".   I mean really.....what is the point?   Listening to this lineup lie, distort, pander and shout "No more Obama!".....I can draw no other conclusion than we are just saturated with stupidity.

Richmond Barthe: OUR Artist of the Week

2012-01-23T13:30:00.007-07:00

Richmond Barthé,(1901-1988) was born in Mississippi and moved to New Orleans when he was young. Growing up in a devout Catholic house, painting, drawing were a source of enjoyment for him which would later help to define his life.

After contributing some paintings to a church fundraiser, his talent captured the eye of his Priest who encouraged him to apply to the Art Institute of Chicago which he attended from 1924-1928.

It was Richmond's talent as a sculptor which was recognized and encouraged both by classmates and critics in Chicago. After a one man show in 1928 he moved to New York City, set up shop and began working. In addition to creating art, he socialized *--with central figures of the Harlem Renaissance including Langston Huges, Alain Locke, Augusta Savage and Carl Van Vechten

Richmond Barthe was an out gay man and lived a fascinating life. He **--continued to create sculpture well into the 1960s, some of which was commissioned as public art. He sculpted an American eagle for the Social Security Building in Washington, D.C. and a bas-relief for the Harlem River Housing Project. In 1949, the Haitian government commissioned him to create monuments to the revolutionary leaders Toussaint L’Overture and Jean Jacques Dessalines in Port-au-Prince. In addition to spending time in Haiti, Barthé lived in Jamaica before returning to the United States and settling in southern California. He died in 1989.

For more information on the personal side of his life and career, check out Cassandra Langers article on the Gay & Lesbian Review.

Watch him at work

*, ** source: blackpast.org

Sometimes We Need To Be Reminded

2012-01-23T10:56:00.000-07:00

Night At the Movies!

2012-01-21T21:24:00.002-07:00

This is where I saw tonight's movie "Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close".

The movie? It was good, not fantastic, emotionally touching or any of that....it was just.....well, good. The real treat for me was watching the flick in the Orpheum Theater in Twin Falls Idaho.

I have loved this place since I was a kid.

Remember the line in Queen Latifah's "Last Holiday", where she says to the hotel desk clerk, "Don't that ceiling just make you wanna cry?" That's how I was the first time I saw a movie at the Orpheum when I was 9 or 10 years old. I remember gasping and whispering to my friends in a sort of reverence.

Tonight was a treat for me, both for the movie and the venue! Watching a movie at home is fine, but every once in awhile you need to see a movie the way they were meant to be seen: "In Style".

Edward Avedisian: OUR Artist of the week

2012-01-20T22:12:00.001-07:00

You know the drill: Painters, Artistis, Composers...many have been of the queer persuasian. For some their sexuality defined their art. For others it was but a footnote.
Edward Avedisian is our "OUR Art" artist this week.

1) Edward Avedisian was best known for his work in the 1960s: brilliantly colored, boldly composed canvases that combined Minimalism’s rigor, Pop’s exuberance and the saturated tones of Color Field painting.

A frequent motif was a cluster of bright seedlike orbs corralled at the center of a vibrant monochrome field by larger rings of color, creating an image that could resemble a buoyant cross-section of some unknown fruit.
Mr. Avedisian was born in Lowell, Mass., in 1936 and studied art at the Boston Museum School. By the late 1950s he was living in New York, part of a generation of promising young painters that included Frank Stella, Larry Poons and Darby Bannard.

From 1958 to 1963 Mr. Avedisian had six solo shows in New York galleries, including two at the Robert Elkon Gallery, where he continued to show almost every year until 1975. By the early 1960s Mr. Avedisian was a rising star. During that decade, his work appeared on the cover of Artforum, in “The Responsive Eye” exhibition of Op Art at the Museum of Modern Art and in four annuals at the Whitney Museum of American Art. His paintings were widely sought by collectors and acquired by major museums in New York and elsewhere.

In the mid-1970s Mr. Avedisian moved to Hudson and became less visible. His paintings soon began shifting toward representation; he took to calling his abstract paintings “a period style.” But he continued to be well served by his feeling for color, scale and surface. His landscapes described his surroundings in blunt, flat shapes and singing hues reminiscent of those of Marsden Hartley and Paula Modersohn-Becker, but also had an undeniably contemporary verve. In the 1980s he also made bright abstract sculptures from painted Styrofoam.

In 1996 Mr. Avedisian showed his paintings from the 1960s at the Mitchell Algus Gallery, then in SoHo. His last show, dominated by recent landscapes, was in 2003 at Mr. Algus’s gallery, now in Chelsea.

Mr. Avedisian’s marriage ended in divorce. His partner, Judson Baldwin, died in 2006. In addition to his son, Joseph, of Brooklyn, he is survived by a grandson.
*1) Obituary

Time Travel Thursday

2012-01-19T11:43:00.002-07:00

It's rare that a vintage photo of two men or women would have an inscription, and unfortunately that leaves the relationship between the two open to interpretation. But we've been interpreting subtle signals our whole lives haven't we? Observing details and drawing our own (usually) well thought out conclusions?

Take this photo for instance. To the untrained eye it could be two brothers or perhaps two very good friends. However a lgbt would be more opt to pick up on the signals....a closer than platonic embrace, an arm on the thigh cupping the knee which is held in place by a hand on the arm. Heads titled, one man's legs crossed toward his "seat-mate" and the other's openly receptive.

I would doubt these were two brothers or even cousins, but whatever their relationship status, there is a closeness, an intimacy between the two which lends a silent air of comfort to today's viewer reminding us we have always been here, and whatever the circumstances...have always found a way to love and be loved.

To view more of this online collection, click here.

Time Travel Thursday

2011-03-31T09:02:00.002-06:00

Notice his hand. s'All I'm sayin.

Is It Wrong To Hate Him?

2011-03-30T15:54:00.000-06:00

Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia was ticketed Tuesday for his role in a wreck involving four cars. Fortunately or unfortunately there were no injuries except to the vehicles — including Scalia’s, which had to be towed.

According to U.S. Park Police, Scalia was driving south on the parkway approaching Roosevelt Bridge when he rear-ended a car that had stopped for traffic, triggering a chain reaction.

Accidents happen all the time. People fail to pay attention and because they're behind the wheel of a two-ton monster, innocent people suffer.

I'm a little guilty....and perplexed by my own reaction when I read of Scalia's accident. My first thought, in all honesty was "Damn, he didn't get hurt". Indeed, he walked away without a scratch.   My second thought was "What kind of monster am I"??? --to wish harm on an old man.

Here's the deal: Scalia is not just 'any' old man.   He sits on the highest court in the land, and has a significant impact on my life with his decisions...and on yours as well, especially if you're gay.

Back in 2003, SCOTUS struck down a Texas law criminalizing same-sex sodomy. In his dissent, Scalia noted that the court "has largely signed on to the so-called homosexual agenda, by which I mean the agenda promoted by some homosexual activists directed at eliminating the moral opprobrium that has traditionally attached to homosexual conduct." and since then, he's waged a type of war on us with his decisions, and in his paid appearances.

Is it wrong to hate your enemy?   Wrong to hate someone who doesn't just hate you back, but wages a campaign...makes it his life's work to villanize you? Demonize you?

This...Was Moi' This Morning

2011-03-29T11:49:00.001-06:00

I'm in the middle of a sex dream involving Alec Baldwin, Rush Limbaugh and Jimmy Kimmel (don't ask) and just as it's getting to the good part...my bliss is broken by a scream in the distance,

"GEEEEOOOOOFFFFFF! There's a bird in the stove!"

I woke with a start, not quite sure of where I was. But it all came flooding back.....I'm spending a week at moms, and thanks to the wind storm last night I now had a job to do.

My parents house came with a beautiful old wood stove, that they never use.   They tried it once but the house filled up with smoke, and since that day it's been 'decorative'. It's also been a Holiday Inn for any bird caught in a wind storm.

I removed one of the top panels and quickly put a trash bag over the opening.   In the past the birds would fly up into the bag and I'd have them out the door in a flash.   No such luck this morning.   Peering under the bag I found not one, but two birds staring back at me.   They both appeared to be worn out from their stay, so I replaced the top panel and opened the side door just a bit, intending to reach inside and grab them.
Big mistake.
As I opened the door wider, they bum-rushed me and escaped into the house.   I diverted one out the front door, but the other decided to say hello to mom.

I don't know if you've ever heard a chubby, grey-haired 79 year old woman in bed, scream as she's being dive bombed by a scared black bird....but the sound sticks with you.

The poor thing was all over the place, crashing into her bedroom window, landing on her television....then it spied her open closet.   Once inside the maze of her walk-in, all hell broke loose. Mom freaks out... the bird goes on a rampage and all six foot chubby me is climbing over and around both of them in an attempt to shoe the damn thing out.

Did I mention the screaming? Mom screamed, I screamed, the bird screamed..... it's a wonder my mom's neighbors didn't call the police. I wondered about that and how I would explain all the commotion if they did come.

Finally I parted some curtains and opened a window. When it spied the freedom of the outdoors it made it's escape.

THAT was MY morning. How was yours????

Foodie Sunday

2011-03-27T13:01:00.003-06:00

Every sunday is "Foodie Sunday" in our house, and today we made a baked Tortellini Casserole.
We've found if you portion right after cooking you can have some during the week, freeze some for whenever, and have a better success rate of NOT overeating!

Baked Tortellini Casserole

1 lb. cheese tortellini, cooked al dente
1 sm. onion, chopped finely
2 lg. cloves garlic, chopped finely
1/2 lb. fresh mushrooms, sliced
2 tbsp. grated cheese
1 c. heavy cream
1/4 lb. prosciutto, chopped
1 c. frozen peas, defrosted & drained
1/2 stick butter
3 tbsp. olive oil
Can make 1 day ahead.
Saute onions, garlic and mushrooms in butter and oil until mushroom liquid is all gone. Remove from heat and add peas and prosciutto; mix thoroughly.

In baking dish place well drained tortellini mushroom mixture. Add heavy cream and mix. Sprinkle with grated cheese; cover. Bake at 375 degrees for 25 minutes.

recipe link: http://www.cooks.com/rec/view/0,1926,146189-224202,00.html

Apparently I Have Been Doing It All Wrong

2011-03-25T11:44:00.002-06:00

I just had a great shower. Not just because I needed one (which I did), and not because I did anything naughty (damnit). It was just one of those awesomely enjoyable showers. Plenty of hot water.....the feeling of getting clean....relaxing....invigorating. "A Shower To Remember" as it were.

I've never been a tub kinda guy. Since I was a kid showers have been king.

I remember Rosie O'Donnell on The View, talking about showers being a great help for her depression, and apparently she showered around five times a day. (that's a lot of water and time). I don't think showering solved all her problems, but maybe they helped. I'm sure she smelled great.

Since it's friday, here are a few fun shower pics. Yes they're vintage. No I'm not on a vintage kick (okay maybe a litte). But as I am looking at these pictures, even though I just had a great shower.....I get the feeling I may be doing it all wrong.

For more vintage pics of men showering, visit: http://www.ipernity.com/doc/57114/album/106659%7CR21%3Boff%3D216%3Bview%3D1?r[off]=0&

Time Travel Thursday

2011-03-24T00:53:00.001-06:00

Brothers? Cousins? Friends? You decide. Time Travel Thursday showcases vintage affection. Can you 'read' the subtext? For a complete view of the picture, click the TT Thursday page.

Rest In Peace Elizabeth

2011-03-23T10:11:00.002-06:00

I was never a huge Elizabeth Taylor groupie but I was definitely a fan. Her beauty was inescapable, her work unarguable and her friendship coveted.

After her longtime friend Rock Hudson died from AIDS, Taylor helped found the American Foundation for AIDS Research (amfAR) and started the Elizabeth Taylor AIDS Foundation.

Her star-power was such that she not only survived championing a cause such as AIDS but she helped to change minds and raise money over the years....thus saving lives on both counts.

Rest in Peace Elizabeth.

It's All New Baby!

2011-03-19T22:21:00.002-06:00

A brand new design, content, podcast and outlook! Yeah I'm workin on some tweaks (of the web designing kind) and there are a few bugs to work out, but it's almost done.

I've missed blogging!

Did You Fall Down & Smack Your Pretty Little Head?

2011-02-17T14:15:00.000-07:00

Not sure if anyone has stomped around these dark dusky hallways the last few months...but just in case...my general malaise is receeding and some good big fabulous news is on the horizon.

--Geoff

Now I Can Believe It

2010-12-18T11:23:00.001-07:00

"If you want to discriminate, there is no place for it in America"

Time Travel Thursday

2010-12-16T13:45:00.002-07:00

We're Standing With You Dan

2010-12-15T00:07:00.001-07:00

Sending prayers, good wishes and good vibes for a speedy recovery. Thank you for all the work you have done, and are doing LT. Your community owes you a substantial debt of gratitude.

Kristine W says it perfectly.....It's gonna be Alright.

Christmas Crack

2010-12-13T02:54:00.002-07:00

Today is "C-Day" at our house.

C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S Decorating day.

The house has been cleaned, scoured, dusted, shined and vacuumed to within an inch of it's life.

I've lugged the Christmas decoration boxes inside, and later I will pull them one by one out of the dining room and begin unpacking all the treasures, all the memories, all the newly acquired Christmas Junk and attack the house with the frenzy of a masculine Martha Stewart on Christmas Crack.

I'll break for lunch sometime around 1-1:30 but it will be a light meal because I'll have snacked on the mountain of Christmas Cookies I've been preparing for goody boxes and party favors.

The house will be finished around 5 and I'll succumb to my own diabetic infused coma for around an hour....then order pizza.

The house will shine, and wait with baited angel hair for the party next sunday when relatives in and out of state will descend en masse for a family holiday party which we haven't held for the better part of a decade. Who knew so many would say "Yes" so fast when I called them? However during the lull before the familial storm, we will enjoy the house in the quiet solitude of overdecorated brilliance.

Such is the life of gay men during the holidays.

Could You Step Back A Bit Please.

2010-12-12T00:11:00.002-07:00

If I came with an owner’s manual it would have a few helpful tidbits. Such as: If I’m driving, don’t bug me by grabbing my arm or touching me….anywhere really (and this includes my Mom). If I’m at a party, no problem….get as close as you want. If you have a beef with me? You’d better not be so close I can smell your breath. And if I’m in line at Fred Meyer waiting to return something…I do NOT want to feel your body heat on MY back, which is exactly what happened today.

So I’m returning a vacuum cleaner belt because I bought the wrong one. It’s a simple exchange, and I know it’s near Christmas….I also know it’s a Saturday…..I can handle crowds. I’m the next person in line behind a Hispanic woman and it’s taking forfreakingever. She doesn’t speak English and they’re translating the complicated procedure for her credit card dilemma. I’m patient, it’s Christmas time, so all is golden. As we continue to wait, I can feel the line growing, and then I literally feel ‘it‘. My bubble….my personal space has been invaded. I shift ahead slightly…..the invader moves with me. There’s no touching, so I’m sure it isn’t a pick pocket or perv…but my irritability grows.

A person's personal space and comfort zone, varies. Estimates place it at about 24 inches on either side, 28 inches in front and about 16 inches behind for an average westerner. This person was practically resting their chin on my shoulder, so having reached the point of no return I take a half a step forward and turn which put’s me almost nose to nose with a 60 year old man. He’s startled. I’m pissed.

“Could you step back a bit please” I say with a barely even voice, just a little too loudly. It's not a question, and he get's the point. But then.....Mr "Imsocloseletsbefriends", get’s this constipated look on his face and takes a couple steps back which causes the other 10 people to move back as well….. and they are not happy. I see irritable faces and I actually hear grumbling, but do I give a flying candy cane? No.

I turn around , my precious bubble again intact just as my Spanish speaking friend whips out a wad of cash and solves her problem and finally I’m at the counter.

When my transaction is done (in about 2 minutes) I tell the clerk “Merry Christmas“, and then turn to face the hostile masses and gave them a “Merry Christmas” as well.

I loves me the holidays…..but I love my bubble even better.

Up To 'Here'

2010-12-10T14:29:00.000-07:00

From time to time I reach a saturation point when it comes to TV.

The bad news, horrifying news, the sometimes crushing disappointments and sickening politics, just get to be too much for me.   I didn't used to be this affected by the news, but I've noticed during the last couple years this is the case.

DADT, ENDA, Tax cuts for the rich, Lawmakers and Representatives who lie, Presidents who fail miserably on their campaign promises, murders, rapes......I've had it.

So today I'm "TV free"...... for today.   I'm not insane after all, I could never just forego the news.   But just for today, I'm taking a break from CNN, MSNBC and the occasional Faux News moment of insanity.....for my sanity.

Time Travel Thursday

2010-12-09T10:59:00.000-07:00

"Cousin Liz" ahead of her time

2010-12-08T13:13:00.005-07:00

My parents used to control the tv dial. Remember those days? The days when TV's had dials and Parents, not children, decided on what was watched as a 'gasp' family?

One of the shows we had to endure was All In the Family. We had a love hate relationship with it. On the one hand we LOVED Edith. The sweet, innocent "dingbat" as Archie called her was the best. Archie however, sort of epitomized my dad who laughed a little too loudly every time Arch said a racial epitath, which was all the time.

As an adult I've been surprised at how much "I" now enjoy watching All In the Family. I'm sure some of it is childhood nostalgia, but that was one smart show. As kids we didn't fully understand how the show demonstrated Archie's ignorance and the plot lines were truly both timely and WAY ahead of their time.

AITF dealt with a handful of gay storylines. Of course they were produced in the early to mid 70s when top stories on the news included Anita Bryant and Harvey Milks saga so it stands to reason 'gay' was a hot, timely topic.

Yesterday I watched AITF and it was the "Cousin Liz" episode.

Edith's school teacher cousin dies, and she and Archie attend the funeral and wake. The wake is held at Cousin Liz's apartment which she shared for over 25 years with her 'roommate' Veronica. When Veronica overhears Archie planning to take a special silver tea set which belonged to Edith's family, the Cousnins relationship is explained very poignantly to an at first confused Edith who ultimately champions the couple.

Veronica: "Your cousin liz and I were .. we were extremely fond of each other."
Edith: "Oh, I know. We was, too."
Veronica: ".. you see Edith .. we... we loved each other."
Edith: "I know. We loved each other, too. I can remember when we was kids in school we was like sisters."
Veronica: "No, this wasn't like that... We loved each other in a different way."
Edith: "What way?"
Veronica: "More like a marriage."

Edith: "A marriage? Oh no, it couldn't be."

long pause....

"Oh....."

All In the Family was truly ahead of it's time.

I Think Santa Is Following Me

2010-12-07T00:33:00.001-07:00

About this same time last year I was feeling a little blue, and while I was waiting in line at a local drive thru.......... I saw Santa! I can't tell you how that simple event raised my spirits.

Yesterday I was going to the grocery store and I saw him again! Of course he wasn't wearing the suit,because (duh)...it's waaaay to early, but it was the same car and the same beard and this time he was chatting on a cell phone.

I think Santa is following me. Good thing I've been nothing but 'nice' this year!

Pricetag On Civil Rights

2010-12-06T10:59:00.000-07:00

The Atlanta police reached a settlement with the Eagle on the raid last year, remember that? Last year they burst through the doors in full SWAT gear, brutalized a couple patrons screaming anti-gay slurs and were just in general total douche bags.

I remember being dumbfounded when I first heard about that story. Can you imagine what that must have been like? That day at the Atlanta Eagle was closely reminiscent of that night in NYC at the Stonewall Inn……..but this was 2009. One thing that's clear, is that the struggle for civil rights is far from over, and that's sad.
While I’m not a bar-gay anymore, I try to place myself in that situation and wonder what I would have done. Would I have been defiant and possibly been beaten? Would I have been brazen and resisted? Would I have kept quiet or maybe even snapped a few precious pictures to document the brutality?

I don’t know.

For all the Atlanta Pds posturing after the incident, today the news is they settled the lawsuit somewhere north of a million bucks.

A million bucks huh?

I guess civil rights come cheap these days

Horror Of A Good Man

2010-12-04T00:09:00.001-07:00

I never thought I would write a letter to a man incarcerated for three counts of murder, but last night I did just that.
In the mid 1980s, my grade school Principal took a shotgun and murdered his wife and two young daughters. I vividly remember watching the news and listening in horror as they played one of the girls 911 call which ended with a shotgun blast.

During the early 70s when I was in the first grade, it was a tough time for my family. My mother brought my sister and I to a small Idaho town on a wing and a prayer and we lived with my grandparents. It was an especially hard winter, and I was scared at the idea of a new school and new town. One day I became sick and wanted to go home. There were some other kids in the office with the same problem, and Mr Stover drove several of us home. I was the last one to be dropped off but there was a problem. Because we had just moved, I didn’t know my exact address, but I knew the street. Mr Stover drove me up and down, block after block hoping I would recognize my house. We didn’t find it, and had to return to school, but along the way he reassured me it was ’okay’ and was incredibly kind to me. I’ve never forgotten that afternoon. .

We moved that summer and the next school year Mr Stover became the Principal at my new school.

In the third grade, I was bullied by a crossing guard at lunch time. Once I identified the kid, he took care of the situation and I never had another problem.

When I was in the 6th grade, there was a boy who arrived in the latter part of the year and only stayed a month or so. The other kids wanted nothing to do with him, but we became friends even though it cost me socially. I remember he had a truly horrible home life. While working on a project, I clearly remember him saying “I wish Mr. Stover was my dad.” I protested, but he was adamant that he was a better choice than his own father.

That said a lot. Mr Stover affected a lot of kids that way. He was a remarkable, kind, soft-spoken man who truly cared about all his students. His family meant the world to him, and it showed.

When the mid 80s rolled around, the Stovers went through hard times and moved to Boise. He couldn’t find a position with the school system there and he tried selling insurance. Bills mounted, tensions within the family rose and somewhere along the way he lost himself and his mind. According to the news, in a moment of despair, believing his family would soon be homeless and they would starve…. he lost his mind….. and his family lost their lives. It was horrible, our little town was shaken to the core.

I believe in the death penalty, I believe there is unspeakable evil in the world like in the Petit case.
Mr Stover was not evil. Yes he did an evil horrible thing….but that was a result of a broken, delusional man. He’s been in prison for 25 years now and he wont be eligible for parole for many years to come. He’s now in his late 70s and from what I heard he doesn’t remember that fateful day and is adamant he could never have done such a horrible thing.

I don’t know why he’s been on my mind lately, but he has. I also don't know about attoning for sins of that magnitude.....is it even possible? All I can say for sure, is that his life up to that tragic day has to have counted for something, and it's important for me to let him know how he touched my life.

A Unicorn F@#$ing A Dolphin

2010-12-03T00:23:00.004-07:00

If I were to get a tattoo, it would have to be a unicorn fucking a dolphin in front of a beautiful gay rainbow.

Why? because I'd cock it up anywhich way I went.   My 'cool' would be nerdy.   My 'cutting edge' would be sooooo 80s.

I admire some tattoos on some people, but when it comes down to it, I just don't trust myself to make that kind of commitment.

I have two nephews who are pierced and tattooed beyond belief. Though I love them dearly, if I’m being 100 percent honest…..they look just plain awful. Demonic skulls, writhing monsters…and other rotten art decorate arms, legs, heads and other nether regions so…..for me the mere idea of getting inked is too much. I can’t get over that the blonde sweet face I used to kiss goodnight is now a shaved headed walking nightmare of living ‘art’.

I love watching the Tattoo shows on TLC. Miami INK (which I think has been canceled for awhile) and of course Kat Von D's show LA Ink are really fun.   I am amazed at Kat's work, although for such a pretty girl.....she just looks so freaking dirty to me. And I'm not talking 'dirty = hot' either.....more like dirty = tetanus and an STD coctail.
Tattoos look great on some guys…hot even, but on other’s not so much. What separates David Becham from Jim Bob? Is it the bank account? Is it the subject matter?

For me, getting a tatt simply would not work right now....I know my limitations.  But in the future? I guess the unicorn fucking the dolphin in front of a gay rainbow could happen, when I'm in my 80s.

Time Travel Thursday

2010-12-02T00:55:00.002-07:00

We've Forgotten

2010-12-01T02:34:00.001-07:00

We have forgotten about AIDS.   Well, maybe not completely......but almost.

Of those currently infected with HIV, one in five doesn't know they have the condition, and the majority of new infections are spread by people who are unaware of their own status.

About 41% of new infections last year affected young people aged 15-24, and women accounted for about 51% of new infections.

I am 43, which might as well be 158 in gay years...but I'm okay with that. Really.

I was 2 years old when Stonewall was happening, 8 when Anita Bryant was singing about orange juice while trying to eradicate gay people. I was 16 when I saw my first gay pride parade and heard my beloved grandmother spit out the words "Sick Queers", and I was 18 when Rock Hudson died and I began hearing about the "Gay Cancer" known as AIDS.

I didn't think AIDS would ever touch MY life.  But it has.   I'm HIV negative, but that's as much due to luck as it is foresight, and I thank God I have my health.   But my cousin's husband, who had leukemia when he was 23 received a blood transfusion and that's how he became infected.   A friend of mine lost his wife and two children when he became HIV positive and the dark secret he'd held all his life finally came out.    And an acquaintance in my small town was on a mission to infect as many people as he could before he died.

AIDS touches us all, but these day's it seems as though we've forgotten about it.

We need to reconnect with those who are "living with, living with not dying from disease" every day.

We need to contribute with whatever resources we have for those who's time is running out.

We need to be responsible.

We need to Remember what it was like when we started dying horrible quick deaths and nobody, but nobody gave a flying fuck about a sick queer.

We Need To Remember, and ACT UP.

Love My Hair

2010-10-20T13:22:00.003-06:00

Remembering Matthew

2010-10-12T11:04:00.000-06:00

Seems like we're adding names 'to remember' left and right lately, there's so much hate out there. I hope and pray the trend stops....but the truth is, it won't stop until it ends with you and me taking a stand.

This Should Be National

2010-10-10T09:30:00.001-06:00

This wasn't produced by a nation wide power player ad agency...this is grass roots and in my opinion.....very very effective. (found via Joe.My.God)

I Guess That's Why They Call Them Crushes

2010-10-09T09:34:00.002-06:00

I distinctly remember the argument with my cousin.

"I get to be Ponch!"

"No, I do!"

Riveting eh?   We were somewhere around 7 or 8 (maybe 9) but CHiPs was the big thing on television and motorcycle cops were what all our friends were playing and we were no exception.

Ponch was so cool. He had the hair and the teeth (almost like the Osmonds) plus it was fun pretending our bikes were motorcycles and riding side by side like they did on TV.   I of course, won the argument and my cousin Larry had to be "the blonde guy".   We didn't even know Larry Wilcox's characters name. (Officer Jon Baker FYI). He was definitely the second bananna as far as we were concerned.

Then I saw the episode where he was wearing a blue bathrobe.   I don't remember the storyline but I remember being mesmerized at the sight of him in that terrycloth blue robe and from then on I was just fine playing Officer Baker.

Now, I'm an adult and my prebuescent crush is accused of being part of a stock fraud scheme which sounds so blase' until you learn the end goal would have put peoples pensions and futures at risk....and all in the name of greed. How vile.

I guess it's a part of growing up when reality creeps in and fantasy fades.   I'll always remember Officer Jon Baker in his blue terrycloth bathrobe, but never in quite the same way........that must be why they call them 'crushes'.

Asshat In Sheeps Clothing

2010-10-08T10:54:00.000-06:00

I always kind of liked Rick Sanchez on CNN, and wondered what the heck was up with this guy when he was fired a few days ago.   He's known for being somewhat opinionated and outspoken which I'm okay with, after all I don't have to agree with every word that comes out of someone elses mouth, and healthy discourse makes me think which is always a good thing, know what I'm sayin???? Hmmmm?

But I definitely raised an eyebrow when I heard his Jewish remarks about John Stewart, and I wondered if maaaaaybe he'd taken a sip of the ol' crazy koolaid Mel Gibson has been chugging the last few years.

This morning I woke up to find him being interviewed on GMA and I thought for a second there was a glimmer of hope as he opened the interview by saying "I screwed up, this was not CNN's fault" yadda yadda yadda.  Someone taking responsiblity? It sounded refreshing! Then he kept talking.

Sanchez went on to explain his comments by the old "I was tired" excuse, saying he'd been working 14 hour days for over two months......which sounds perfectly logical doesn't it? I mean when I'm dead tired I also just start hurling racial/ethinic stereotypes at people our of sleep deprivation don't you?

Then it's as if he thought one excuse wasn't good enough so he added a few more.   His reason for the racial comments, he continued to explain......evolved because he wanted to go to his daughters softball game during the interview....THEN it turned into he was mad because there were no other Latino news anchors besides him and it just wasn't fair.   THEN to buffer that last excuse he shared a story about helping his immigrant father deliver furniture to a rich ladys house and when he asked the white rich woman for a glass of water, she told him to go outside and drink from the spigot.

How utterly sad and tragic that this guy I once thought was pretty cool....was just another asshat is sheeps clothing.

Good riddance Sanchez......you're pathetic.

Here's what he had to say about Tyler Clementi's non existant bullying.   How'd I miss this?

Time Travel Thursday

2010-10-07T00:45:00.000-06:00

Rain And A Regular Wednesday

2010-10-06T09:58:00.000-06:00

Is there anything better than waking up to the sound and smell of rain?

Sure it can get old after awhile, but it was particularly nice this morning.

I'm not sure what's on the tap for today, a few errands, lunch, dishes. Boring stuff...... the stuff of living.

It's tempting to feel ho-hum about a regular everyday sort of day but I'm trying to adjust my outlook, because let's face it.....even my most boring day of the week beats the pants off what other people have to contend with in other parts of the world. After all, I don't have to worry about grabbing what posessions I can carry and scrambling to higher ground because of flooding. I don't (necessarily) have to duck every time a plane flies a little too low near my house, I have food in my pantry, a man who loves me, a full tank of gas, some awesome pets and family I care about.

All in all, this is a pretty spectacular day now that I think about it.

Even if it is raining..................for the third day in a row.

Feeling Sorry For....

2010-10-05T11:11:00.000-06:00

I woke up this morning, from a gay dream, in my gay bedroom and turned on my big gay TV. For about an hour I channel surfted from one gay show to another, thinking gay thoughts and then I finally got up. I looked in my gay mirror at the biggest gay I'd seen all day and gave myself a wink. After flirting with my big gay self, I hit the gym where I was surrounded by all sorts of gays doing gay things. After my workout I showered and got ready for work by putting on my gay clothes and the gayest cologne I had on my gay shelf in my gay locker. Then I gaily headed off to my gay job.

I feel sorry for those poor souls who aren't gay. What a life of drudgery they must lead.

Born That Way

2010-10-04T10:44:00.000-06:00

I have no experience being Italian, Jewish, Female, Blue Eyed, or Left-handed. So if I were to mount a public campaign against....let's say left handed people telling them I knew for certain they were not BORN left handed, but instead chose the sick immoral lifestyle of using their left hand predominantly...wouldn't you think I was insane?

Would the goal of my argument be to convince lefties to be righties? Or would it simply be a transparent effort to convince others that lefties were of the devil, reprobates or "less-thans"?

Why do political candidates and religious leaders even receive airtime with this drivel?
Let's step out of the crazy box for just a second and imagine some of the current crop of nuts like O'Donnell and Paladino, and the whackadoodle from Nevada get elected, because like it or not, it is a possibility. O'Donnells campaign is picking up speed and Sharon Angle for all her batshit comments might look like a longshot but she hasn't been stomped in the dust like she should have been from the get go. So IF they get elected...what influence will they have on policy? What will life be like for their constituents? What will it be like for US when that kind of thinking becomes acceptable and spreads to OUR neck of the woods?

The pathetic rhetoric of 'gays weren't born gay' may be laughable to you and I...but if it is allowed to be repeated and repeated and repeated...we may just find ourselves in a very familiar struggle all over again.

When the Nazis came for the communists,
I remained silent;
I was not a communist.

When they locked up the social democrats,
I remained silent;
I was not a social democrat.

When they came for the trade unionists,
I did not speak out;
I was not a trade unionist.

When they came for the Jews,
I remained silent;
I wasn't a Jew.

When they came for me,
there was no one left to speak out

Oh My God

2010-10-02T07:05:00.001-06:00

Over breakfast a couple days ago I mentioned that I had prayed for D- and his upcoming test, which has been weighing on his mind lately and he seemed a little surprised.

"I didn't know you still prayed"

Hello? I thought to myself.....have we just met?"

"Of course I pray " I said.   "I still believe in God, just not religion"

What followed was a familiar conversation to us, exploring the idea/nature/belief of God, suicide and the hereafter. Deep stuff over a cheesy omlette at eight in the morning.

I think it's natural at this stage of life....(that stage being middle age ), to contemplate the bigger questions about....oh let's say eternity for instance.

I was always a deeply religious kid. Sunday school, church, youth group, bible camp...you name it I was involved. I also went to Bible College in an attempt to reach God and cure myself of being gay.   If I'd stayed on that path, I would have went on to Seminary, eventually married a woman and pastored a church. I also most certainly would have cheated on said wife and congregation with men and paid a tragic price.

I don't pretend to know all the answers about God and heaven and hell, but those subjects were on my mind when I woke up at 5:30 this morning and couldn't go back to sleep.

This is how I look at it:   Protestants, Catholics, Jews, Muslims, Mormans...take your pick. They all think they have the "ONE WAY" to God.   They all have their beliefs and some will, have or just might even kill you if you cross them.

Every religion can't be right...so who is?   I don't know.

I DO believe there is a God, for many reasons, intelligent design being the most logical non belief based one off the top of my head.   In my opinion religion per se is mans device to reach the Divine. D- would add that it's also mans invention to control the masses-- I think both views are right. I also think religion, is one of the most destructive things to the soul, but that's a whole other tangent.

When it comes to God, the thing is, we just don't know.   Until He (or some would say "She", but that's blasphemy!) let's us know first hand ....it will remain the greatest mystery of life.

I know personally when I pray, it comforts me.....I don't feel alone...and I have experienced Gods influence in very real and tangible ways...and no church, or religion can change that or take it away. The rest? I'll just have to wait and see, just like everyone else.

Blood On Our Hands

2010-10-01T02:33:00.001-06:00

You and I didn't violate Tyler Clementi's privacy and shatter his soul.   We didn't taunt, torment or attack the other young people who committed suicide this week either....but you and I are guilty.

I won't get overly maudlin or introspective with this post, but my premise is this.

You and I could be mentoring a young gay adult. I could be volunteering at the GLBT community center, you could be doing the same thing.   Each of us COULD be calling our school officials, city, state and federal representatives inquiring about anti bullying policies, insisting some be put in place, making ourselves heard, being an unrelenting pain in the ass to those who effect policy. We could be having a dialog with Aunt Betty or Cousin Dan showing them their favorite niece or cousin is a proud, out gay American deserving of equal rights and respect.

You and I COULD be doing all these things and maybe even save the life of someone who thinks tomorrow is too full of pain and despair to go on one more minute.

We COULD be making a difference......but are we doing any of the above?

When this story dies down and Tyler Clementi becomes a sad footnote in a forgotten chapter of last weeks news, if we do nothing....you, and I ....will still have blood on our hands.

FB Photo Of The Year

2010-08-06T10:30:00.000-06:00

This was on Facebook today. Here's the guy's page that originally posted it. http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=31578982&id=1146373033 He's received a lot of kudos for finding and posting this. I personally L O V E I T.

Elisabeth .......

2010-07-27T15:56:00.000-06:00

It's true....."They've done studies" as Mrs H pointed out on the view today!

Good Taste

2010-07-11T22:40:00.001-06:00

Joy Behar: "Your mother, Judy Garland and you, are such gay icons. Why is that?"

Liza: "Because they have good taste."

Who Do You Think YOU Are?

2010-07-10T09:44:00.001-06:00

About two years ago I began working on restoring the old family pictures, and I wondered about the people, and the times they lived in etc.   We knew a tiny bit about my mom's side of the family and practically nothing about my dads.   Then last Christmas, I decided I would see if I could research my family tree.   I had no clue as to how to begin, and I soon hit a brick wall and gave up.

Then, "Who Do You Think You Are" aired on TV.

Produced by Lisa Kudrow, the show featured real life family searches by celebrities. Sarah Jessica Parker, Matthew Broderick, Susan Sarandon, Brooke Shields and Spike Lee were all favorites of mine and so I watched. It was amazing and lit a fire under me to try again. This time I was successful.
It's kind of daunting to start a search like this because you never know what you'll find, and I found some doozies, but I had to get started because my mom is the oldest remaining person on her family side and when she goes, all that she knew would have gone with her.
Everyone wants to find someone famous in their family tree, or some amazing incredibly fantastic story to tell about an ancestor and I was no exception. However I didn't think I would get far in my search or that there would be anything notable.    I was wrong.

My mom's side of the family is amazing.   My great great grandfather fought in the civil war, as did his father.   Then because the genealogical community is so connected I found his line all the way back to before 1776.   On my grandmother's side, her family is a direct line from Stukely Westcott who came to the new world and established Rhode Island and the first Baptist church. Go figure.

As neat as that information was, it didn't compare to the excitement I felt when I tracked down my great grandmother's brothers who had disappeared from the family.   One divorced his wife and married a black woman, the other was a true cad.   He was a successful rancher who divorced his wife, and left his six children, and was shot and killed in 1924 by his second wife while visiting a whore house.    The court records from his case are riveting. It was a huge scandal....and his wife (who shot him) was found not guilty.

I've also found out some not so proud information, including being related to Benedict Arnold...yes that one, a great grandmother on my father's side who was in the KKK, and two first cousins who married each other (thank god my family isn't from their line)

So there's good and bad and a whole lot of inbetween when you start searching your family tree.    If you haven't looked into yours, I would encourage you to do so. It's an amazing journey.

La Lohan Parte Deux

2010-07-07T08:49:00.000-06:00

I'm a Lindsay Lohan sympathizer probably because she reminds me so much of my wayward niece. So sad to see a talented kids life swirl down the toilet.

During her court appearance yesterday I did notice her nails and thought "Wow that is one shitty manicure". Today I ran across this blowup of said manicure from an article on CNN.

Lindsay was offering up a little message on her middle finger. How sad this kid just doesn't get it.

Get Better Lindsay

2010-07-06T22:46:00.002-06:00

Special Order Of The Court?

2010-07-06T10:14:00.001-06:00

So I get back, and find out I'm up for jury duty.

Okay...no big deal. I found out in plenty of time, and really, I'm all for serving.   I believe in the system (in it's imperfect perfectness....mostly) and since I escaped serving the first time I was called when I was 25, I'm kinda looking forward to it.

I wonder if it will be like "Twelve Angry Men"....or "The Juror".   Will it be hot and sexy like "The Practice?" Or cleverly funny like "Ally McBeal"? What will I wear? Will I be sequestered?

I quickly receive my card which is complete with my juror number and instructions, so I log on to check my schedule.   There are three groups of numbers and in the third category which I fall into....there is the little added text. It reads: "Numbers 1216 through the number 1349 appear, by special order of the court; Friday, July 9th at 9:00 a.m."

By special order of the court? Huh? Me? Why me? What doesthismean?

The county clerk has not called me back.   So I'm left wondering!

It's Monday!

2010-07-05T09:18:00.000-06:00

Happy 4th

2010-07-04T09:57:00.000-06:00

I've been traveling, sunning, and just enjoying life. Hope to be home soon and blogging again. Have a Happy 4th !!

Family Service

2010-05-31T09:52:00.000-06:00

When I was a little kid, my father (who had served in the Air Force during the Korean War), told me the story about my grandfather.

The story was about how grandpa (my father's step dad) had served time in prison because he was a conscientious objector during WWII.   A devout Jehovas Witness, he didn't believe in fighting or killing.  My dad, who was prejudiced beyond belief about anyone who was different or believed differently than he did, told the story every memorial day when I was little.

I had a brother who served in the Armed Forces during Vietnam when I was an infant, and other family members who had served in both world wars so memorial day was important all the way around.

I believed in military service from a very young age, so much so that I was willing to join when I was 19 and sign an oath I wasn't a homosexual.

Years later, after my father died, I found out he had been discharged from the Air Force with a 'less than honorable' label attached to his service record.   I never found out why, though I could have.   It also made me think about how proud my dad he had been when I joined......but how if he had lived long enough to learn I was gay....odds are he would have disowned me.

I still believe in serving one's country, and that includes in the military.   If we are privileged to the point of living here and enjoying the freedom the rest of the world envies...we have a duty to serve and protect that.....even if we're gay.

This memorial day I remember my family members who have passed...those who served, and those who were simply a part of the tapestry of my life.    I also pause to honor those currently serving.....and those whos service has been hindered or destroyed by DADT.

No, Please. Do Tell.

2010-05-26T00:24:00.000-06:00

I voted for the guy, I've supported him because I know he has a full plate of issues on his table......issues that affect the entire country.

But he promised.

I'm a sorta-kinda patient person. I realize things take time, priorities shift, things come up.

But he promised.

I know better than to believe a politician. After all, they have to be all things to all people, work the room, make the deals....make friends.....make
....compromises.

But he promised.

I thought this President, would be different....because he promised.

DADT is wrong. The President and his last minute compromises are wrong.

Give me a reason to believe in your promises Mr. President......because you promised....and so far I see nothing but excuses.

I'm The Kinda Guy.....

2010-05-24T22:46:00.000-06:00

I'm the kinda guy that performs at his best when there's a deadline involved.  An end goal, a reward (or penalty) at a firm finish line.

For me, there has to be something 'to' the journey. A method to the madness otherwise, otherwise I flail.

If I have an open-ended amount of time, I don't do well....I procrastinate.....I get distracted by shiny things.

I know this about myself and while I hate it, I've come to accept it, It's just who I am.

This doesn't mean I don't enjoy free time, because I do.   But too much free time? Too much expanse without a final destination? To me, that is well.....'yawn'.

What about you?   Do you enjoy deadlines? Goals etc?

It's My Birthday Bitches!

2010-05-23T00:44:00.002-06:00

Another year, another birthday. I think I'm just beginning to realize they are piling up surprisingly fast. Oh well, no time for self-pity. I'm privileged to be in this world and count my glbt friends as my family.

Today it will be chinese for dinner, followed by the cake I have insisted on since the first grade: devils food chocolate cake with chocolate frosting, round, two layers.....and no fucking candles.

So carbs be damned! It's my birthday bitches!

Happy Birthday Harvey

2010-05-22T11:14:00.001-06:00

Full Circle

2010-05-21T14:37:00.005-06:00

It was 1985. Ronald Reagan was President, Amadeus won the Oscar for Best Picture, New Coke was introduced and I was about to graduate High School.

Twin Falls Idaho was (and in many respects still is), a small town USA kinda town. Patriotism, church, conservativsm all reigned supreme. I knew I was gay, but could not envision a future anything close to what I have now. I felt very much alone, and remember the 80s were pre internet so unless you moved to a big(ger) more progressive city…you really were kind of alone.

My graduation present came early, a project and gift from my Dad. It was a 1972 Plymouth Satellite Sebring, in original condition with a 440 V8 engine and a cassette deck.

At that time, I heard a song on a TV show and tracked it down to the group “The Nylons“. Once I played that tape in my graduaction car I fell in love with them, eventually learning every song, backwards and forwards.

The song “Up the Ladder” and “Please” blared through my car windows, competing with the roar of the engine as I cruised through town in my vintage muscle car. It was a good time in life, full of sun, possibilities and care free youth. I loved all the songs on that cassette….they spoke to me. The Nylons were all about soaring accapella, intricate harmonies, pristine vocals and rich lyrics that bent your heart to their story.

Then life happened, cars changed, cassettes morphed to Cds and MP3s and I mostly forgot about that special group I spent my spring and summer with.

Recently on You tube a chain of accidental clicks reminded me of The Nylons and I found them once again. My friends from long ago were still there, as well as new favorites from their old material. As I watched the vids I had a feeling they might just be family. It wasn’t just the funny 80’s fashion…or their dance moves…or the fact I detected facial wasting in the lead singer Marc Connors. It was something more, and it inspired me to find out more about them. So, I did a search and couldn’t believe what I learned.

They were gay. All of them.

It was an emotional moment for me. While I was beginning my life as an 18 year old gay kid…their songs had became a part of my life, and little did I know we shared a bond, a kinship.

The story of the original group is amazing, heart breaking and touching all at the same time. And even though "out" gay entertainers were practically non-existent in the 1980s…they connected with a young gay man just starting out in life. The Nylons have owned my heart for a couple decades, now we’ve come full circle and I feel I owe them my thanks.

The above were my favorites from all those years ago....the one in the Daily Aural is my new favorite.

Time Travel Thursday

2010-05-20T10:52:00.004-06:00

Chalk It Up

2010-05-19T09:02:00.000-06:00

BIZZY Day!

2010-05-17T21:30:00.000-06:00

Today was one of those days where I was playing catch-up from the moment my feet hit the floor! It wasn't a bad day, just freakin busy...so in lieu of a real post (and believe me I had plans for one)......here's a photo I came across that kinda floored me.

I love them both, but daay-ham!

This Week's Artist Spotlight

2010-05-14T13:13:00.003-06:00

This Week's Artist Spotlight is Ross Bleckner. His slideshow featuring some of his work is in the far right column.

Ross Bleckner new he wanted to be an artist from childhood, but unlike most children who eventually leave behind the joy of creativity, he stayed with it, and today at 60 he has achieved a level of skill and popularity most can only dream of.
He graduated high school in 1967, and attended NYU where an influential art teacher advised him to enroll in art school, which he did in the early 70’s. At California Institute of the Arts, conceptualism and minimalism were the trends and his early painting reflected some aspects of those genres.

For the last 25 years, his art has been largely an investigation of change, loss, and memory, often addressing the subject of AIDS. Mr. Bleckner uses symbolic imagery rather than direct representation, and his work is visually elusive, with forms that constantly change focus. An influential Gay Activist, He is also a philanthropist, donating time and money to many organizations and is on the board of ACRIA, the AIDS Community Research Initiative of America.
When asked how the AIDS epidemic affected his work he said in part, “For me, AIDS in the 80s when I was in my 30s, was an issue which signaled kind of an end to an era of unbridled optimism about what it actually meant to live, a normal life-span. So suddenly endless optimism became a sense of a fear of mortality. I think that became a very pervasive sense of consciousness regardless of what your sexuality was, and that was very profound”.

http://www.rbleckner.com/press28.html , http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ross_Bleckner , http://bigthink.com/rossbleckner

Time Travel Thursday

2010-05-13T00:08:00.002-06:00

I Need To Prooffread

2010-05-12T10:05:00.000-06:00

I just left a comment on one of my favorite blogs and yet again...failed to proof it before hitting enter.

How many times can one use the word 'amazing' without sounding like a seventeen year-old air head?

This bitch needs to start proofing!

My New TV Obsession

2010-05-12T01:15:00.000-06:00

At first glance, you might think to yourself that this family is simply crazy. Everything seems built on chaos.

You have two eclectic designer parents who cannot let the other finish a sentence or thought, without interrupting. Joined by seven kids who seem to run wild, their ages spanning from infant to early teens with names like Braker, Major, Talulah, Wolfie and Five. Yes. Five.

Stylisticly, no one seems to brush (maybe even wash) their hair very often and yet somehow it works. They even have that funky bohemian vibe about them you secretly always wanted to emulate in college until a stodgy roomate threated to bring you before the student council.

To top it all off, the Mom and Dad are talented, (some would say brilliant) sought-after designers in New York City who create personal spaces and fantasmic homes.

They also appear by all accounts to be raising really cool kids.   They throw benefits in their trendy Architecture Digest worthy home for friends with sick children, and even sponsor an inner city youth basketball team.

Add in a couple camera crews and you have "9 by Design on Bravo". My new TV obsession.

A Rainy Day & A Huffy Ten Speed

2010-05-11T10:13:00.001-06:00

It is freakin raining....again.

I gotta say, I'm longing for some sun, some blue sky, some free time outside, but it just isn't happening.

I have a love/hate relationship with rainy days. I always sleep sounder when it's raining, I love storms, I don't have to water the lawn, and by nature I'm an 'enjoy the dark' kinda person so I'm usually welcoming to this kind of weather.

On the other side, I know I'm somewhat prone to depression so too much of a good thing simply isn't. I also need to be active and rain seems to prevent that.

My main rainy day memory is a good one.

It was raining on my tenth birthday, and my older sister gave me her brand new ten speed bike as a present. I was beyond excited as I had been coveting that metal steed the whole week.   It was a baby blue (mens) Huffy ten speed, the coolest bike around and it represented so much fun and freedom to my ten year old self.

I had opened her card feeling blue and found the key to her bike lock.   She wrote, "Geoff you already have the key to my heart, so I'm giving you the key to your new bike.'   I was so excited I raced out to the back patio to exercise the ownership which came with the small key.   I couldn't ride because it was really pouring, but I stood there practically stroking my new gift while the rain hit the metal patio cover-- so much fun at my finger tips...so much freedom, just out of reach.

You might think that's a bad memory as far as the rain is concerned, but it isn't.   It was an integral part of that day so many years ago, and I guess it's a good life lesson.    It's good to have delays in life like the rain was for me on that birthday.   Maybe the rain makes us appreciate the joyous sunny days more than we would otherwise, and whose to say we can't find joy in the delays themselves?

After all, I can still hear those very raindrops today.

Lena Horne

2010-05-10T09:00:00.000-06:00

Much like Daphne Moone off of Frasier, I am a little bit psychic.   Nothing major, nothing earth shattering...mostly inconsequential stuff that has no bearing.

This weekend, I kept thinking about Lena Horne on the Cosby Show and wondered aloud how old she was and if she was still singing.

Odd huh? Especially given she passed away yesterday.

I'm not a huge Lena Horne buff, but I knew of her.   She was more of my mother's generation, but I loved her signature song "Stormy Weather" and read about her contribution to Civil Rights in the 60s and beyond.

In addition to her huge talent, she had a little bit of a temper. Okay, a huge helping of temper when it came to civil rights. During the war, she would perform for the soldiers, but the Military made her perform for the white soldiers first, and then the black. On one famous occasion, when she returned to the mess hall to do the 2nd show, she saw the first few rows were full of white guys, and found out they had seated German prisoners of war in front of the black soldiers. She flew into a rage and marched off the stage performing the entire show in between the dividing row with her back to the prisoners.

On another occasion in the early 1960's, she was performing a show in the states and during her set, overheard a drunk white man hurl a racial slur at her. She flew into a rage throwing an ashtray, a table lamp and whatever she could lay her hands on at the guy, cutting his chin in the process. When the media caught hold of it the next day, phone calls letters and telegrams flooded in supporting her and she recognized the commonality of the black struggle for civil rights.

"Geoff, watch when she sings" I remember my mother saying with a smile, "she's known for her trademark snarl......the way she curls her lips when she sings....a lot of men still think it's attractive".

Lena Horne had a smooth voice, both when she was singing and speaking, and performed well into her later years. She was an amazing woman.

Happy Mother's Day

2010-05-09T10:25:00.005-06:00

"I think you're missing the silver lining here. When you're old and in diapers, a gay son will know how to keep you away from chiffon and backlighting." ---Karen Walker

Kissing

2010-05-08T08:36:00.002-06:00

I LOVE kissing.

For me, the kiss isn’t just a warm-up for the big event, it’s an essential part of making love.

Kissing is one of the most intimate expressions of desire, tenderness, connecting, and sharing two men can experience. It’s perfect for the beginning, middle and end of a relationship.

Have you ever been on a date with a guy, where there’s that electricity in the air? The night has been flawless. He’s funny, sexy, sweet, totally into you and everything is clicking. Then at the crucial time, he drops that teeny tiny bit of information that….”I’m not a kisser. Hope that’s not a problem”.

Crash and burn.

Okay, that’s not really the norm, but those guys are out there.--I’ve crossed paths with one or two of them over the years and you probably have too.

Kissing was always non negotiable for me, and I’m not talking about a peck on the cheek or one of those insane ‘dry kisses‘ either. When I’m in the mood for a kiss, it‘s a main event sport. I want a kiss so intensely powerful, so full of emotion it knocks you off your feet.

I want a tongues dueling, teeth clicking, stubble scraping kiss, so powerful you share the other’s breath as you melt away.

A kiss where everything, and every one, just disappears

THAT’S the kind of kiss I’m talking about.

It's An Andy Gibb Kinda Day

2010-05-07T15:07:00.001-06:00

Ever get a song stuck in your head?   For me today, it was "Shadow Dancing" by Andy Gibb.

I don't know where it came from, but it popped in my head and I haven't been able to get rid of it.

I had a huge crush on Andy back in the day.   Of course I was only about 10 when he was popular, but that still makes me ancient.   When I was in sixth grade I begged for his record after seeing him on tv and my dad said "Absolutely not".   Maybe it was the long golden hair....the flowing shirts or the tight polyester pants.......I guess I'll never know his objection to the youngest Gibb brother.

Luckily for me, my mom did the shopping and she made sure I got it.   I listened to the whole LP over and over and over, and I still have it!

When I was reading some blogs recently, I ran across a posting on ~~'just a jeep guy' I think~~ , (it was A Rad Homo) about Olivia Newton John on Glee and since I was in love with her too....maybe that's why Andy popped in my head.

I had such a grush (that's 'g'ay / c'rush') on Andy and it's funny to remember all those innocent little gay boy day dreams I had while singing along to his record.

Today I'm not so little or innocent, but I just added "Shadow Dancing" to my iPod because for me, it's an Andy Gibb Kinda Day!

No Such Thing As A Stupid Question?

2010-05-07T00:52:00.000-06:00

So I'm giving my psycho-sister a ride the other day, and things seem to be going pretty well.   I'm in a good mood, she's in a good mood....sun is shining and for once in a very long time I'm not repulsed at the thought of spending (any) amount of time with her in a confined space.

Then, she opened her mouth.

"I need to ask you a question" she stammerd.

"Uhm, okay"

"Is that ring a sign to other men that you're gay?"

"What?" I asked.

"Do all gay men wear those kinds of rings to meet other men?" she clarified. "Cody, (her son, my nephew) has a friend who wears a ring exactly like that and we think he might be gay"

I looked down at my hand. It was a regular ring. Just a stainless steel ring. Not big and chunky, no embossed rainbow flag or male symbols intertwined....just a plain freaking ring. Yet suddenly, to this twit who has known me all her life, I am no longer a guy who has a job, pays his bills and is involved in a three year relationship....I am reduced to a club-going, on the prowl for sex homosexual, using covert signals to send my intentions and broadcast the fact I like dick.

If I seem cruel by my reaction to her question....trust me, I'm not. You've never met my sister. This is the same unbalanced woman, who a few months ago was yelling I was nothing but a "fucking faggot", yet when she needed a ride, assumed I posessed a very short memory.

"Yes Sherri" I was tempted to answer, "yes it is. All gay men are required to wear these rings."  Instead, I just shook my head and said "No."

So as to the old saying that there's "no such thing as a stupid question"?   Wait til you have a conversation with my youngest sibling and see what you think.

Time Travel Thursday

2010-05-06T15:47:00.000-06:00

Pop Overload

2010-03-31T00:22:00.007-06:00

I'm definitely on pop overload this week....so much good stuff to digest!

Ricky Martin officially comes out.   Always loved the guy, now even moreso. I'll be buying his upcoming book for sure.

Speaking of books, Rupaul also has a new one...and damnit I'm excited to get it.   Say what you want about Ru, but he is one smart drag queen.   While watching last seasons Drag Race, I was really impressed at what he had to say about self love, esteem, and working your ass off. She rocks.

D and I watched the Blind Side this week. I remember laughing when it first came out that I would never watch it. (I have an aversion to actors playing 'southern') but I relented and loved it. Sandra Rocks.    Her situation with Jesse James is sad.....and although he's scum....I have to admit.....I'd tap that.

Something else I hate to admit: I'm looking forward to the new Tom Cruise movie "Knight & Day".   I despise the ego known as Tom Cruise. I can't stomach his crazylookatmescientology ways....but this looks good. Totally stoked for this flick.

And speaking of 'stoked'....that doesn't even begin to describe how excited I am about Christin Aguilera's new album which should be dropping in june.   The preview song "Not Myself Tonight"...is so incredibly cool.....I'm a giddy little school girl.

So there ya have it. My "Pop Overload".......I haven't OD'd yet, but hey, it's only wednesday so who knows what else the week will bring.

Livin La Vida Fabulosa!

2010-03-29T17:34:00.000-06:00

"I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am."---Ricky Martin

I wasn't even sure I'd post this, because last time I was kind of bitch-slapped for having my own take on 'celebrities coming out'...but how can I pass this up? (and for that matter...why should I?)

I don't feel the same way about Ricky as I did about Sean Hayes. Double standard you cry? I don't see it that way. They're two totally different people and situations (and motives)....plus he's not being all condesceningly snide about it.

Welcome Ricky! Your rainbow toaster is in the mail.

I Needed A Laugh

2010-03-28T10:35:00.003-06:00

...and this fit the bill:

Methinks He Doth Protest Too Much

2010-03-26T22:23:00.002-06:00

If the ban on gays serving openly in the military is lifted, what does the Marine Corp's top officer say about housing?

"I would not ask our Marines to live with someone that's homosexual if we can possibly avoid it," Marine Commandant Gen. James Conway told a Web site in an interview posted Friday. "And to me that means we've got to build [barracks] that have single rooms."

Really?

I guess the Commandant feels us queers just wouldn't be able to help 'sneaking a peek' or making a pass at our fellow soldiers. I mean after all......gays in the military would go through all the personal sacrifices....the blood sweat and tears to serve their country ONLY because we're secretly hoping a career in the military is a Falcon video 24/7.

The absolute stupidity of our nation's supposed 'finest'....baffles me.

My guess is the Commandant is making his assumptions based on his own personal struggles, and in this case I'd wager money "he doth protest waaaaaay too much".

Hell No You Cant

2010-03-24T20:16:00.002-06:00

Hodge Podge

2010-03-23T01:14:00.002-06:00

I admit it's been a rough couple days, but things are getting better.....I hope.

Pep's funeral will be in a week. Whenever anyone has died in my family someone always causes a scene, makes drama, creates pain. This time was no exception.   Out of the cast of characters I'm related to, I'm not surprised at who did what....just more embarassed and sad that they did it at all....which is an improvement because yesterday I was also angry.

Very....very....angry.

But you take the progress where you can get it I guess, and not being fully drawn in to their craziness is something to be proud of.   I dunno.....for all the times I've heard "I'm just thinking about Pep" I haven't seen much of that in action. Just a lot of selfish psychotic sad people I have the unfortunate fate of sharing some common DNA with.

I just miss my brother.

Tonight was mostly spent watching tv, and wow....The Tonight Show With Jay Leno was the gayest I've ever seen.    Johnny Weir was on the couch, feet tucked under him like a shy school girl and you know what?   I fuckin love that kid.    He was sweet, articulate and open and I really enjoyed his interview.  When Jay asked him about Stars On Ice refusing to hire him because he isn't "family friendly" (IE he's a flaming queer)....Johnny responded with a lot of tact and maturity.   The next guest was none other than KD Lang! Can you believe it?   She didn't get interviewed, but instead just sang her latest country-ish ballad which is pretty much her trademark style for the last decade or two. I haven't really listened to her work since Constant Craving, but her voice still sounds flawless.

Also, Michael Buble was on Letterman, but I only caught a few seconds of him.   Michael Buble is my secret crush...my eye and ear candy. I know his shtick is Big Band/Sinatra stuff, but I wish he'd do more pop-like material such as "Just Haven't Met You Yet"....god I love that song.

I couldn't think of a picture to accompany this post so I just typed in hodge podge and that quilt popped up.    I like it.

So that's the delio.....Thank you again for all the nice sentiments over the last few days.   You'll never really know how important they were to me when my psycho siblings flared up.

I miss my brother.

Peace

2010-03-20T09:05:00.000-06:00

My brother died at 5:02 this morning. He lived his life with a quiet, sweet dignity I hope all his siblings can emulate some day. Thank you for all the good wishes.

Almost A Year

2010-03-18T12:25:00.003-06:00

Last april, I wrote about my brother's diagnosis of pancreatic cancer and how they had given him a short time to live. At the time, the Doctors felt his cancer was too advanced for treatment, and that he had a matter of weeks, perhaps months to live.   His already devastating situation was more complex emotionally because he's an individual with special needs and lives in a care home in Northern Idaho.

Two days ago he was taken to the hospital after a nasty fall during which he hit his head.   He had appeared disoriented and weaker than normal that day and they discovered he had peritonitis (sp?) which is an infection commonly seen in people suffering from pancreatic cancer.   They said they could treat it, and he would stay in the hospital for a few days.

I spoke to him twice that day, and he sounded weaker than I have ever heard him sound before.... I knew it wouldn't be long.

This morning the Doctor called. My brother had taken a turn for the worse, and developed pneumonia overnight.   "Now would be the time to come" he said.

Burdette, or Peppy as he is called in our family, is an amazing guy.   He was a musically gifted teenager with a bright future ahead of him......but sadly he was also a child of the seventies who's life took a tragic turn, and as a result he has lived the majority of his years in a care home.

The doctor this morning said it had been "-almost a year", since my brother learned his time was short. And although that "almost a year" has truly been a gift......it just doesn't seem like it's enough.

I have to go pack now so I can say goodbye to him. I won't be blogging for a few days, but I hope you take the time to enjoy your weekend, and let those whom you love, know that you love them....... because "almost a year" just isn't enough. .

Time Travel Thursday

2010-03-18T00:03:00.003-06:00

Pinch Me

2010-03-17T10:36:00.001-06:00

Joining the Natl Guard & Spitting In Miss Idaho's Eye

2010-03-16T00:34:00.001-06:00

I was scanning a few pics for some friends on facebook and took the inevitable trip down memory lane.

1987 was a busy year for me. I was still in the closet, unsure of my future so during the summer break from college I decided to join the National Guard. It wasn't the wisest idea, but it was the plan.

The recruiter was excited to have me, I looked to be in good shape, had great grades and would be entering at a high rank. I was nervous, but ready for the challenge. The above picture was the night I was to leave for processing/orientation and then onto basic training. Several of my friends showed up to see me off and I remember my dad being mad because I didn't want any pictures....but I relented, he calmed down and I was on my journey. (I'm the one getting the hug).

The next morning during processing I vividly remember, having some young officer slide my paperwork in front of me with several items requiring my signature. He would clarify certain provisions before I signed and I'll never forget when he got to the part where you had to swear you were not a homosexual.

"This part here" he said, "just says you're not queer. I can tell you're not queer so just initial here...and sign here".

I signed.

I actually did think about how there must have been others like me who signed the same oath...and how they must've felt lying. My rationale was that I could lick the whole gay thing and I could change. In fact the whole endeavor was in the hope the service would change me. As it turned out, I was 12 pounds over the weight limit for my height, and my blood pressure had spiked making them think I had hypertension. The truth was, I didn't have high blood pressure...I was just scared shitless. And the 12 lbs? Well, look at that pic. I worked out regularly, ran, and had a 34 waist at 5'11. I was not fat, but the army was in a time of surplus of funding and man power and because of that, they deferred my entrance until I lost the 12 lbs and had a doctor certify my blood pressure was normal.

They actually flew me home on a commercial flight and I ended up at the airport with the same group of guys who were heading on to basic training. They were a bunch of really cool and handsome guys who hung around me in a show of support (though I was secretly relieved) when Miss Idaho, complete with entourage and her sash ran up to me. Yes, me. She was a classmate of mine from highschool and the most beautiful girl I had ever known. All the guys freaked out that a beauty queen was hugging one of their own (sort of) and went nuts. I introduced them all (after my hug) and it was a good moment.

It turned out she and I were on the same flight home, and we sat across from each other on the jet and chatted the whole trip. She dulled the dissapointment (and relief) of my experience, and I was both excited to see my classmate and a little proud that "I" was chatting with a Miss USA contestant. While we were talking across the aisle...I saw (in slow motion) a little bit of spittle fly out of my mouth.....arc....and crash into her eye. I was humiliated and I'll never forget her beautiful face flinching as it made contact. Neither of us acknowledged it, but the conversation died down significantly.

So that was how I ended my (brief) military experience.....by being rejected because of a ridiculous standard and spitting in Miss Idaho's eye.

I got off lucky.

What If........

2010-03-15T00:34:00.000-06:00

What if no one ever came out?

What would your life be like? Where would you be? What would you be doing?

If no one ever came out but instead stayed inside, remained hidden away. Who would you be today?

I, for one, would be a vastly different person.

I imagine I would have joined (and stayed in), the service. Perhaps the Army, more likely the Air Force given my father had served in the latter.

I have to squint though, tilt my head and scratch my chin to imagine any further.

I….think…….I would have found a woman to marry, and done my best to perform…..but I ….believe……I would have turned to alcohol out of frustration and emptiness self-pity and anger. That’s my best guess at least.
I doubt I ever would have written poetry, danced in the imagined privacy of my living room, stolen my first kiss with a high school classmate, received my first blowjob on the first yard line of my high schools football field at one a.m. on a Saturday morning.
I doubt I ever would have spread my wings from my home town, fallen in love 163 and ½ times. Made love outside watching the city lights glow in the approaching summer night.

I never would have met my partner through a chance moment that could only have occurred after a billion perfectly timed events began at my birth.

I have serious misgivings I ever would have kissed and made love in the rain to the most beautiful young man I ever laid eyes on………I wouldn’t have written my stories and dreams, they would have remained locked inside my heart unknown and unread. I wouldn’t have sang the songs I’ve sung at all, let alone with the passion and emotion that refused to be bottled up inside my soul. Passion borne out of lust and love and sex and hope and joy.

I wouldn’t have drawn, or painted the endless doodles, sketches and serious attempts at art that my hands produced throughout my years. I wouldn’t have formed the precious friendships that molded and inspired my life along the way……..

I would have been a vastly different person if no one had ever come out….shown bravery ….and pride….and love.

Thank God they did.

I Don't Pretend

2010-03-13T20:35:00.001-07:00

I don't pretend to understand everything about what it means to be Transgendered.

I've known two people in my life who were "Trans".   The first was my junior high school friend Roberta.   We were friends throughout school (though her parents seemed to wish it was more than just friendship) and she (at the time) shared her story with me when we ran into each other after a couple years at a gay bar.   Long story short: Roberta always knew there was something different about her, and on the outside it was her genitalia. One night an emergency trip to the doctor revealed the excruciating pain in her side was actually her testes descending....things fell into place for my friend. She was in her late twenties and she, the awkward red-headed girl, became Eric...a very handsome ginger guy.

The second Transgendered person I came to know was Mickey. Mickey, it turned out, was the uncle of one of my highschool classmates.   She gave up her family, friends and faith to be who she was inside. A big, tall, extremely attractive man...became the big, tall and statuesque woman who unfortunately did not pass...... but that didn't matter to Mickey. Today she lives the life she had no choice but to live, and she does so with courage and dignity.

My friend Eric disappeared to live his life, leaving Roberta to become a distant memory.   My friend Mickey (who I actually married to her wife) is still in my hometown but we are no longer friends.

So I was excited to watch the two hour CNN documentary on Steven/Susan Stanton.

What a journey, what a life, what courage and strength.   I can't pretend to understand all the complexities and struggles that Transgendered people have to face, work through and overcome....but I can appreciate the courage and strength it takes for them to do so.   I may not feel one hundred percent comfortable, even though I am a gay man, with the process of shifting one's gender, but I can applaud and hold close those who risk everything because really, there is no other choice for them.

Susan Stanton, is someone I would consider it a privilege to know, though I probably never will but I hope the people in her new community understand how lucky they are, and I hope Susan lives the long and happy life she deserves.

Her Name Was Steven

2010-03-11T15:48:00.000-07:00

This should be fascinating. Saturday, March 13th, 8pm.

Time Travel Thursday

2010-03-11T00:09:00.002-07:00

Meet James Bidgood

2010-03-10T00:07:00.000-07:00

James Bidgood, our featured Gay Artist this week, is what you would call a true renaissance man. He is an artist whose work has spanned many different mediums. He is also a gay man who has made a valuable (if reluctant) impact on art, music, theatre and even drag. Yes drag.

Born in 1933, Bidgood worked in theatre, set design, music, painting and photography. He is probably best known for the film “Pink Narcissus”, a dialogue-free fantasy . For the movie, Bidgood not only built all the sets, but filmed the entire piece in his NYC apartment. For a number of years the film was attributed to Andy Warhol because in an act of protest, he had removed his name from the project.

After a nearly 40 year hiatus, James Bidgood was at the end of his rope due to health and money problems and has said he was on the verge of taking his own life. Thankfully he met someone who recognized him both for his inherent value as a human being, and for the incredible talent he possessed. He received a grant which enabled him to once again return to the art world, and his story was featured in the documentary, “Ten More Good Years”, a film about the challenges facing LGBT seniors. ( I definitely recommend it)

James Bidgood’s art is amazing, and still influences artists to this day. Ari Gold’s video for his cover of “Human” is a modern day take on Bidgoods style and aesthete. His life story serves as inspiration and a warning to today’s gays that youth is fleeting and life as a GLBT senior requires forethought and planning.

Whadda Day

2010-03-09T22:52:00.000-07:00

After doing 6.15 miles yesterday (my best time yet) I somehow managed to tweak my back doing something insanely stupid. So......I've taken the day off. Mostly.

My tuesday has consisted of brownies, a heating pad and the remote.

Not that today was too much of a waste. Yesterday I wore shorts and a tshirt...today a hat and my heavy coat.

Where the heck is spring??????? This weather sucks!

Hope your tuesday went well! See ya on the Wednesday flip side!

A Cheesburger/Hair Color & Extra Bronzing....

2010-03-09T00:30:00.000-07:00

and just a liiiiiitle photoshop and my favorite couple become 15 years younger.

Of course, the real world demands real people, and what's more attractive than authenticity?

NEWSFLASH: Sean Hayes Admit's He's Gay

2010-03-08T14:08:00.002-07:00

Big Fucking Deal.

Look, I'm sorry for the profanity and I'm conflicted about my reaction, but please.
I LOVE Sean Hayes, and I LOVED his work on Will & Grace as Jack McFarland. I think he's a brilliant commediene and has talent very rare in the business of show business.
However.
During the eight years he was on Will & Grace, and the ensuing 4 years since the shows end, he has never been 'out' publicly.

If you read the Advocate interview (which you can do by clicking on the photo), he will argue he "never lied about who or what he is", "never hid the fact he is a gay man" and even "made a huge contribution to furthering gay rights". Well, maybe the last one could be true, as his portrayal of Jack McFarland was so likeable and entertaining he had to have reached some "unfriendlies" out there. However, as for the rest?

Bullshit.

I'm not saying he didn't have his reasons for all the non-answers and coy replies he gave when asked about his sexuality....but nevertheless.....he lied. Sure, we all knew, and many didn't care which is fine. But my beef is this: When you are a successful gay, someone who achieves power and influence (and let's face it, he did) and you refuse at the very LEAST to be open? You're sending the message that being gay is something to hide, to be ashamed of. And what message is that sending to kids coming of age during a time like the Bush administration when we were villified to the extreme?

Oh yeah, I know the arguments. "Who's business is anyone's sexuality anyway?" "Why does it matter?" Let me just say...those are insipid rationaliztions for people who are ashamed or want to make their money of the backs of those who live their lives openly and honestly and with dignity. Period.

So Seah Hayes is proclaiming he's gay huh? Well, welcome to the party Sean! I'm still a fan of your work, still in love with you as an actor but when it comes to your character? You don't get any props from me for the last 12 years. Let's see what the next 12 bring.

I Don't Care.....

2010-03-07T21:18:00.001-07:00

I may be the only one at my small, spur of the moment Oscar party who thinks SJP looks awesome in her awesome Chanel dress...but I don't care.

I think she looks fantastic.   No ruffles, no weird trains or jewell colors....she looks like a Roman goddess. A Roman goddess who needs to eat a sandwhich maybe.....but still.

Just lovely.

And Matthew Broderick, who I also have great affection for? 3 words: "Just for men".....color that damn hair buddy! It's just "five easy minutes" so you have time.

There. My gayness quota has been met for the evening.

PS:   Colin Firth was robbed tonight. (and I think Jeff Bridges was drunk AND creepy)

Coming Up This Week

2010-03-07T00:59:00.002-07:00

If There Is One Movie You Need To See....

2010-03-05T01:14:00.003-07:00

If there is one movie you NEED to see as a member of the GLBTQ community, it's "Outrage".

I'd heard the buzz and read the reviews, but only saw it today.

"There is a right to privacy, but not a right to hypocrisy. It is very important that the people who make the law, be subject to the law. People who are not subject to the laws will make harsh laws because they don't have to live with them." --Barney Frank

This movie is fantastic.

Outrage is an indictment of closeted politicians who lobby for anti-gay legislation in the U.S. Get it?   Queers creating laws that hurt queers.

Some names are no surprise, like Larry Craig. But others will blow you away once you learn about the positions they held (or hold) and what they did to you and me.

Directed by Kirby Dick, Outrage is a powerful, disturbing and riveting documentary.   It's not innuendo, it's not vague....it's factual and straightforward.

It spurred me to do the wall of shame (scroll to the bottom left of the blog) and although the first installment only features nine hypocrites...there are plenty more to follow.

I cannot recommend this film enough.

(faces are only blurred for the trailer...they want you to see the movie)

Time Travel Thursday

2010-03-04T00:33:00.000-07:00

Liberty With Blunt

2010-03-03T13:34:00.001-07:00

They didn't have the sentiment I was looking for.....so I made my own. Check out authentic Blunt Cards at bluntcard.com http://bluntcard.com/

How Kitchy! How Cool!

2010-03-03T00:20:00.001-07:00

I love thrift stores.

They're like garage sales without all the hassle. There is something about the experience of shopping, or rather browsing, the aisles of a thrift store that I enjoy. For me it's a cross between a treasure hunt and peeping in someone's medicine cabinet.

Nine times out of ten I don't buy anything.   I have plenty of stuff to donate rather than accumulate, but every once in awhile I find kitchy stuff that I can't resist.
About a week ago I hit that 'one out of ten times'!

I was dragged (against my will) to a Deserett Industries store. (Deserett is a Mormon church thrift store in case you've never heard of them.)   On this trip I found two items I couldn't resist.    The first was a book w/a handsome guy on the cover who reminded me of a blond Ken doll from the 1970s.   I immediately recogized it as Tom Netherton.   If his name doesn't ring a bell, don't worry.   I grew up with older parents so I have a savant-type knowledge of this kind of stuff.   Tom Netherton is the tall perfect haired bariton singer from the Lawrence Welk show.   My mom is a rabid fan to this day, so I picked this up for her.   It's in great condition, a kind of religiousy life story read, and it came with 2 bonus features!   The first surprise was it's an autographed copy and the second , I found two glamour shots of Mr Netherton which are also signed. How Kitchy! How cool!

The second bonus...and this little item was solely for yours truly, is the "Handy Stitch!"! I remember seeing these on TV when I was in highschool. It's a little hand held sewing maching, perfect for stitching hems and various craft projects!   While I don't really have hems or craft projects I couldn't pass this up.   It's brand new and it works! So if I ever do have a need.....I'm golden.

This was definitely the one out of ten times experience that keeps me returning to thrift stores.

How kitchy! How Cool!

On My Book Shelf: Major Conflict

2010-03-02T01:42:00.000-07:00

While I was unable to finish My Lives by Edmund White, I revisited a favorite of mine and enjoyed "Major Conflict" for the 2nd (or perhaps 3rd) time.

Jeffrey McGowan had a dream….a passion, an obsession even, that one day he would be a soldier. Eventually his dream came true….and then he had to accept the fact he was gay.

He writes,”We all make sacrifices. We all make compromises. I wanted to be a soldier. So I compromised for awhile. I sacrificed a part of myself in order to achieve my goals. ---- I left the military in order to save myself.”

Major Conflict is Jeffrey McGowan’s memoir and he tells his story with warmth and candor. He describes his own search for love and intimacy while serving in the United States military during the initiation of DADT….and vividly describes how the policy affects gay soldiers.

Major conflict is a charming, thought provoking read, offering insight into a patriotic gay man who simply wanted to serve his country and enjoy the same freedoms he put his life on the line for.

DADT is a hot button issue right now, and McGowan is a soldier who lived to share his story. We need more people of his character serving our country and in our community.

I give Major Conflict 4 1/2 stars!