I've Lost My Mom

I've mentioned my mom before on this blog, and taken care of her for many years.   The truth is she took care of me too.   It hasn't always been easy, in fact at times it's been a nightmare, but through it all she was my mom. 

This morning I found her in the bathroom between 3 and 4 AM, and she was gone.   My heart is broken and I feel so lost.   Rest in peace Mom.  I love you with all my heart.

Beverly Joan --

July 1931 -October 2012

 

(photo taken May of 1985)

 

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Can't Make Someone Love You

It's no secret I wear my heart on my sleeve.  I feel things deeply, often too deep.    I haven't posted in what...a month almost (?) because a lot's been going on. There's the consistent "drama with my mama"...I don't think will ever change until she passes on-- and while that's painful and draining it's nothing compared to the end of a relationship.   

D and I broke up a few weeks ago, only to come back together and agree to try again.   I didn't handle it well at all....I felt so many things.  Abandoned, alone, a chump.... mournful of the loss of my best friend and of course a whole lot more.  I think he agreed to 'try' because he was worried about me...(I'm a crier, sue me), and that adds another layer of hurt ...and embarrassment.   

 

Right now, communication has dwindled (his choice),  and I'm just waiting for the hammer to fall on his end.     The truth is, it's pretty much fallen on my end too, but there's that small albeit desperate part of me that holds on to the hope that it will work out (which I know it wont).

 

You can't make someone love you.

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Austin Police Dept, "It Gets Better"

Touching addition to the "It Gets Better" project from the Austin Police Dept.  Well worth the watch.  Video after the jump.

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FB Faves From Today

Favorite FB pictorals tonight! Just had to share.


 

 

 

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She's Baaaaack!

The most infamous intern in the U.S. is back on the radar after 20 years, and who could blame the buxom, raven haired, thong sharing cigar molester?   Monica Lewinsky is shopping a book deal about her torrid affair with Bill Clinton and could receive a large paycheck in the proces ....to the tune of about 12 million bucks.  Not a bad payday eh?

I watched her interview all those years ago with Barbara Walters, and I even bought her first book.  And if I'm being honest, I also felt sorry for her.    Of course now that she's an adult she's a little steamed about Bill Clinton getting off scott free after the scandal while she was forced to wear a scarlett letter A, hence the tell all.  Do I feel sorry for her now?  Well........maybe a smidge.   

The young chubby girl with the beautiful smile from...Oregon was it?  Got a pass because she was young and stupid.   Today...she's a wife and mother and should know better....but whatev.  Maybe Monica does deserve a payday after all the humiliation she had to put up with from Kenneth Starr.....I just don't want this to impact Hillary's bid for President in 2016. 

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Time Travel Thursday

I'm not sure how I forgot TT Thursday last week, but I did.   This is a classic military photo with a little something extra way before DADT.  A little drama, a little passion and a whole lotta chutzpah, dontchathink?

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If You Have the Stomach

So the ladies of The View decided to discuss Mitt Romney's '47 %' video.  Just reading that caption and seeing Hasselbeck's picture I can actually hear that harpies voice about to say something typically stupid.    Hasselbeck: "I also think there's a general feeling that with more and more people becoming dependent on government that by next July we could perhaps be celebrating "Dependence Day" and not "Independence Day" in this nation."  Video below if you have the stomach.

 

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Bitch Hit The Road & a Emergency Vet Trip

Today is going to be a busy, busy day and I already have the stress headache and bloodshot eyes to prove it.    Earlier this month I wrote a post "It's Just a Part of Life" where I talked about my mom's healthcare attendant.    I whined about how if I just outright fired her, the ensuing temper tantrum from momalah would be a nightmare.  So instead of nipping it in the bud...I hit the 'passive agressive' switch and became a cold hearted SOB.  Yesterday it sunk in and she quit...but I'm still in the dog house lol.  

 

The day started normally, but Dawn was extra quiet when she arrived.   I saw her doing dishes......notice I said 'doing', not 'washing'.  She was holding them under the faucet and running a sponge over them.  Not exactly sanitary in any sense of the word.   So I mentioned something to momalah because if I gently and sweetly said it to Dawn there would be hysterics.....and somehow the bitch overheard.    Five minutes later she was in the back of the house doing....I dunno what and all the sudden she appears almost powerwalking through the house...out the door....into her car...and drives off.   

 

Her boss calls an hour and a half later and say's she quit, so momalah tells the boss how much we all love dawn and how she won't have anyone else blah blah blah and would she have Dawn call her?  

 

Shit.

 

Dawn calls and proceeds to tell mom how horribile I am, my sister is, and how she L-O-V-E-D her....but she just couldn't be miserable.  So my mom tells her how she agrees with her, that she'll fix the problem because we really are horrible and please please please take the day to think about it and come back.  

 

After that call, I excused myself ...called Dawn in private and told her she was not welcome to come back.  Then I blocked the bitches number and sought cover.   To say it was a rough night is being kind, screaming phone calls demanding I apologize went on literally for HOURS.  My mother definitely has a screw loose.

 

Add to the above, my beloved pug is sick...either a virus or something neurological and I have to take him to the Vet today and my stress level is through the roof.  Thank God my sister (AKA She who shall not be named) stayed the night at our mom's house to calm her down.   

How's your tuesday?

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OUR Artist of the Week: Yankel Feather

Many Artists might be tempted to create a personal history or back story resembling Yankel Feathers as it affords the sort of providence that is sure to increase a talented painters work. For Yankel Feather however the truth of his history is a genuine and fascinating footnote to an incredible and prolific artist in every sense of the word. That is why Yankel Feather is OUR Artist of the week!

Yankel Feather was born in 1920 in Toxteth Liverpool. He was the youngest of seven children and the family was very poor. A self taught painter, Yankel began to paint as a young age and pursued his art with a solid determination despite such tragedies as an absent father and the death of his mother when he was fourteen years old.

His early life was spent as a struggling painter and it wasn't until 1940 that he had his first solo exhibition at a book shop in Manchester. Yankel Feather became part of the artistic bohemian fringe while working as a Telephone Operator and during this time he took studios at Park Walk in Chelsea in the 1940s and exhibited at the renowned Helen Lessore's Beaux Arts Gallery in London during the 1950s

During the 1960s and 70s Feather was popular and well known, owning night clubs and antique shops. Among his friends were George Jardine, Brian Epstein and the Beatles to name a few.

Yankel Feather was a prominent artist and eventual succesful business man. He was also openly gay and during his lifetime found love with two long-term partners, Bill King and Terry Arbuckle with whom he shared his home in Brighton. According to wikipedia, Yankel Feather expressed his sexuality in a series of simplified linear paintings. Feather is listed in the directory of Modern British Painters and his work is enjoyed by many collectors including Ringo Starr.

Yankel Feather died April 18th, 2009. His estate is managed by his surviving partner and committee.

 

 

 

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I Don't Buy It

I do a lot of reading...perhaps too much for it all to sink in sometimes and recently I've read a few articles BY gay people asserting there is no such thing as the "Gay Community".  That the very notion is an urban myth akin to the 'Gay Disposable Income'.

They even profess we don't NEED a gay community anymore.   

I don't buy it.  

 

It's easy to become jaded, and God knows as a group we gay men are easily susceptible to that condition, but there are so many beacons of light out 'there' in the rainbow world and we need to remind ourselves of that.  

 

So "Where is this gay community" you ask?   You'll find it with you, me, our friends and family that get together for dinner, or deliver meals and medicine to homebound people in need.   The gay community is evident when we're fundraising for charity, and coming together to demonstrate or fight for, our rights. 

 

If you say there is no gay community, have you ever made the effort to visit a Gay Community Center?  Have you ever darkened their doorway to volunteer or take part in the social programs they offer?    If there isn't a LGBT Center in your area, have you thought about starting one? 

 

For those queers who look down their noses and say "I am much more than  'gaaaay'.  I don't 'deeefine' myself by my sexuality plus the notion of community is outdated"...I just shake my head.  

 

I don't buy it.

 

Of course being gay is only a "part" of who you are...just like your skin or your brain is a "part" of you who are...and BTW... where exactly would you be without one those parts?  That new argument by young LGBT'Q's is just naieve and stupid and an excuse for whatever they're too lazy to commit to.

 

We need a sense of community however you may define it.  We need it as a part, and as a distinction of the community at large we live in. 

 

If you don't want to be defined by your sexuality stop chasing tail every fucking minute of the day, step outside yourself and do something worthwhile!   And while I'm on this roll, us old gay men? You know, in our 30s and on up?  We need to start leading by example and mentoring these young queerlings because their view of the world is very distorted. 

 

The facts are:

 

We are unique. We are beautiful. We are talented, we have MUCH to contribute to society and each other.  We ARE a community with value and dignity, and we are STRONGER together, as a community,  than as individuals.  

 

Believe it and start acting on it.  

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Currently Crushing On

I've been caught up with Friends lately.   They're on every night and if I'm not actually watching, I at least have it on in the background.   There is something about David Schwimmer that is just so freakin endearing...and he is without a doubt, my current crush!

 

 

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All Of Them Heros

September 11th is a sober memorial the world over, and today we remember those who lost their lives to hate and terrorism.  While most LGBTs remember Mark Bingham, there were many more members of our community who lost their lives that day.  Those who were flying, those who were working in the buildings and those who lost their lives trying to rescue the injured.   Here are the faces of our community, not that singling them out means anything other than recognizing those that are often completely overlooked...yet still, all of them are heros.

 

 

Father Michael Judge

Nancy Walsh

Mark Bingham

David Charlebois

Graham Berkeley

Pamela J. Boyce

Ronald Gamboa, his partner Dan Brandhorst and their adopted son David

James Joe Ferguson

Jeffrey Collmans

John Keohane

Sheila Hein

Roxy Eddie Ognilbene

Eugene Clark

Wesley Mercer

Luke A. Dudek

Michael Lepore

William Anthony Karnes

Tom Miller

Catherine Smith

Patricia McAneney

Waleska Martinez

Renee Barrett

Francis S. Coppola

 

Sadly, some of the missing rescue personnel were gay, and many of their lovers some of whom were Police and Firefighters grieved in silence and anonymity for frear of outing them.

 

 

I was getting ready for work, and trying to watch Martha Stewart in the process.  Yes, I know.  Every channel I turned to had images of a building w/smoke coming out of it, but I didn't grasp what was happening.  

 

My partner at the time said a plane had hit a building and that was when the phone rang.  It was a salesperson at the radio stations I worked at and she said "Brad told me to call you.  You're to come in right now" and she hung up.

  

I still didn't 'get' what was happening.   

 

Within the next five minutes the second tower was struck and I was out the door.    Racing inside  the station, I remember how quiet it was because everyone was in the back studio watching a small tv...but panic hung thick in the air, even in Idaho.  We knew we all had to be there...but none of us was sure what we were supposed to be doing.   It was a nightmare.

 

Like many people, I was glued to the television for the next month, watching the planes strike the Twin Towers over and over again and the constant coverage of victims and rescue efforts.  It was obsessive.... I couldn't look away.  I even slept on the couch in our living room with the TV on and the same horrific images playing over and over.

 

I know I'll never forget that day, and I'm sure you won't either.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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OUR Artist of the Week: Xavier Cortada

Many artists care about the environment, but few would actually hike to both the North & South Poles, which Xavier Cortada did in 2007 and 8.   It was at the top (and bottom) of the world that Cortada planted a green flag to reclaim it for nature and to launch a global reforestation eco-art effort.   Born in 1964 in Albany New York, Xavier now resides in Miami.   His work has been exhibited in museums, galleries and cultural venues across the Americas, Europe, and Africa.

Cortada has worked with groups internationally to produce art projects and installations, such as environmental works in Holland (2009), Quebec (2009) and Latvia (2008), peace murals in Cyprus (2000) and Northern Ireland (2000), child-welfare murals in Bolivia (1997) and Panama (1999), and the official International AIDS Conference murals in Geneva (1998) and South Africa (2000).

 

Holding three degrees from the University of Miami, a Bachelor of Arts, Master of Public Administration and Juris Doctor.  The artist's work and writings are preserved in the Xavier Cortada Collection of the University of Miami Libraries Cuban Heritage Collection.

  

In February 2000 the Holy See invited Cortada to participate in the Vatican’s "Jubilee Day for Artists", where he met Pope John Paul II. In 2004 Cortada, a former altar boy, announced that he would no longer attend Mass until the Catholic Church changed its position on homosexuality, since he felt he could no longer attend a church that discriminated against him.

 

Cortada has worked with groups across the world to produce large-scale murals and community art projects. In 2006 he received the "National Champion for Children Award" from the Child Welfare League of America.

In 2007, as a recipient of the National Science Foundation Antarctic Artists and Writers Program, he created site-specific installations at the South Pole.

 

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VHS Goldmine!

So I'm all alone at home....as usual lately....feeling utterly alone and of course sorry for myself.   Then 'it' happens.  I run across a box of VHS tapes!  Tapes I had recorded in the early 90s including Martha Stewarts original show on PBS,  a few home movies, bachelor parties, movies like Flatline and amazingly......"Armistad Maupin's Tales From the City!!"   Beyond Exciting!     So I dug out the old VCR that hasn't been used in 15 years or more and everything works!

I recorded TFTC when it aired on PBS (around 93 I think), and omg...I loved this series!  

 

Remember the early 90s were way more homophobic than today and the airing of this was a BIG deal.  It was also pre internet so seeing 'gay' ANYTHING on TV was RARE!  

 

OMG.....Mrs Madrigal looks so beautifully young (growing old is such a bitch isn't it?)....I'm watching now!  

 

Maryanne SO sweet.  MONA!!! God I wanted her for a friend.  Billy Campbell, PARKER POSEY, Thomas Gibson, !

 

I have to say.....I am in heaven!

 

 

 

 

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Time Travel Thursday

One of my favorite TT Thursday photos to date! (Click to see the full photo!)

 

 

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Chunky Blue Jeans Bitch

So the one freakin day I forget to take my dog zapper (a harmless, supposedly sonic repelling device) I'm on my walk, burnin those carbs and jammin w/my headphones on...and I get attacked by a dog.   Yup, that's right.   On the last leg of the walk I'm crusin by a field where a farmer is baling hay and his chunky wife in her tight chunky blue jeans is out in their field with about 4 or 5 dogs...ALL unleashed.  They rushed me at the fence, but couldn't get to me so I gave her a dirty look and kept walking thinking that was that.  Wrong.   Less than a tenth of a mile away as I reached the non country portion of the walk, I feel a muzzle on my right arm.  I spin around to see one of the dogs had escaped and decided I was tasty.  I punched him before he latched on to me, spun around, hit a fence and then hit the ground where I kicked him away.   

 

When I got to my feet, I was pissed.  

 

Chunky blue jeans woman NOW decides to start calling her dog back...and I decided to start calling her a few very choice, angry, ugly words in a very very loud voice.   I'm alright, but after reporting the incident to the police I'm left scratched up, pulled muscles and kind of cranky.   

 

How's YOUR week??

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Sad Farewell

One of my favorite actors passed away today. 

Michael Clarke Duncan, whose dozens of films included an Oscar-nominated performance as a death row inmate in "The Green Mile" and other  hits such as "Armageddon," "Planet of the Apes" and "Kung Fu Panda," is dead at age 54.

Clarke died Monday morning at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, where he was being treated for a heart attack, said his fiancée, "Reverend" Omarosa Manigault, in a statement released by publicist Joy Fehily. 

When he had his heart attack recently I was really saddened to learn he was involved with Omorosa....but I guess if he was happy...well it was none of my business.  I just always found him really cool, beautiful, funny and talented.  Born in Chicago in 1957, he stood 6'4 and didn't begin acting until he was in his 30s.  So sad to die so young

12/10/57 - 9/3/12

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I Heart This Photo

Yeah I'm phoning in the blog because of the holiday, but will be back to regular posting and updating tomorrow.  Hope you're having a great weekend!

Geoff

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It's Just A Part Of Life

Yesterday was a sucky day, and I couldn't think of anything to write about with the exception of what happend.  It might be kind of personal, but then I thought "we're gurrlfriends" right?   " I can share this with my internet besties" can't I?  Besides, it's a real part of life and it is definitely part of  "Life & Times of a Gay Guy":  Older parents and Home Health Care Aids. 
Odds are you'll have to deal with this at some point in your own life too.  
My mom is 81 and her health is really declining.   In may, Dawn was brought into the house to help her bathe, dress, light household chores etc for about 3 hours per day.  

As the story usually goes, at first she was just a godsend.....then....she got comfortable.   I didn't mind her lack of boundaries at the beginning , or her casual attention to showing up on time or leaving early...but then it got out of hand, and I did...mind. 

 

For instance, when I heard she was talking to my mom about 'getting poked' by this guy she liked, and her menstrul cycle etc....I politely tried to put a stop to that.

   

As for being late? Five minutes turned to 15, then to 30 and a couple times it was 45 minutes late, and she always, ALWAYS had a story.  Once it was her kid missed the school bus.  Okay, plausible.  Next it was her basement flooded.  Okay.  Then it was an eye problem, the doors on her van locked and she couldn't get out, she forgot to replug her freezer in last time and everything defrosted...it was like an episode of Murphy's Law and Dumber and Dumber.  

 

THEN, I could have sworn in court she came to work 'on something'...seriously, it was that obvious.  So I talked to my mom about it explaining if I saw that again, she was gone.  Then the attitude, then the slacking....  In short (yeah right) her behavior became worse and worse. 

 

Did I mention my mom loves Dawn?   In my mom's eyes Dawn became a defacto member of the family which P-I-S-S-E-D off my younger sister to no end.   Mom would defend, make excuses for or explain away Dawns behavior.  

 

So how do you fix a situation like that?   You're entrusting your parent to another person in your absence to help them with intimate situations and daily safekeeping.

 

A couple times I did talk to Dawn  about her lateness, sloppy dishwashing (did I mention I have to REDO all the dishes because she doesn't get them clean?) and she became incredibly defensive.   The one time I asked her to dust my mom's room (she has COPD) she argued with me that she'd already done it.  She hadn't.

 

So YESTERDAY, when she showed up 35 minutes late, I said "I wasn't sure you were showing up today" and it was "blah blah, I had to do this and that and I THOUGHT about calling but decided WHY BOTHER"......and you can guess how that sat with me.

 

I freely admit I can be a patient person, but it's not without limits.  We had a couple exchanges and then I had errands to run.  When I returned, I asked about Dawn.  Mom said she had called her boss to quit, but that her boss had talked her out of it and she would be back tuesday after the holiday.  My first reaction was guilt.  My second reaction was anger.   I didn't know what I was going to do...but then I stopped feeling guilty and I made a decision. 

 

On tuesday I'm going to talk to Dawn and just lay it out nicely.  

 

"Dawn, I appreciate you and the work you do, but if you are unable to be on time and stay for your full shift then we have a problem.  Also, I am not going to walk on egg shells with you.  I rarely ask you to do something, and if you have a problem when I do, you are going to have to go your own way".  

 

Really then, the ball is in her court and it's her decision.  I my mind she's already gone.  You just don't act that way and expect to get away with it.

 

I feel for my mom...because it can't be easy to trust someone or to have her Son making some life choices for her.   But this bullshit is not going to happen again.  

 

It's just a part of life.

 

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LIAR(s)

Thank GOD the RNC is over.....I'm still frustrated and infuriated that people buy this man's bullhocky.

 

 

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Time Travel Thursday

Recently I saw some of these vintage photos on Buzzfeed and decided to check out the comments.  Most scoffed at the idea there was anything 'gay' about the men in the pictures, and explained that men were just 'more confident' or more (hetero) affectionate in that time.   Well that might be true, but as any gay man will tell you....'gaydar' often clues us in to signals our straight counterparts don't often see.    A look, a well placed hand, lack of space, intimate posing...are just some of the clues or signals we've looked at for ages...you know back when you had to really hide or perhaps die.   Will we ever know for sure if they were gay or straight?  Of course not...but I'll bet on my gaydar over any straighty's scoffing any day of the week.  Wouldn't you?

 

 

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Trick, Then & Now

One of the very first movies my partner and I bonded over was Trick. Yes it came from a more innocent time (1999 to be exact), but it still stands up today (if you overlook the dot matrix printer, the Twin Towers, and a glaring lack of cell phones). Since iTunes fiiiinnnalllly added it, I've watched it twice. Tonight was the second time and I was singing "Como Te Gusta Mi Penga" right along with Steve Hayes loud, campy and proud!

 

I loved everything about Trick.  

 

Gabriel and Mark were hot and wonderful, Tori Spelling won me over in a big BIG way with her performance, and Steve Hayes was (and is) simply adorable. 
 

The cast has aged pretty darn well as you can see from the then and now pictures.   Christian Campbell (Gabriel), has been busy with recent TV and movie projects as has John Paul Pintoc (Mark).  Tori Spelling has a new show on TLC called "Craft Wars" and she has had several children.  To tell the truth, I'm actually pissed at Tori.  She was so AMAZING in this movie, literally kicking 'Donna' from 90210 into the dust and transcending her pesky 'Daddy's Girl' image....but we didn't see anymore quality indie stuff from her --color me VASTLY disappointed.  I thought she was poised to make some really fun, quality movies...sigh.  My favorite scene and dialog of hers is when she was freaking out in the Diner. "Where is the goddamn fucking cheese on these fries!!!??"

You can however watch Steve Hayes  do his shtick in "Tired Old Queen At the Movies" and he's just as hilarious as he was back in 1999!

 

My other major favorite character was Miss Coco Peru! 

"You know what happens when you get cum in your eye Gabriel???? It BURRRRRNNNNSS!"

If you haven't seen Trick, you owe it to yourself to revisit this gem of a gay movie.  You won't be disappointed, and if you're at all like me.....you'll wish you were in your 20s all over again!

 

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It's Called Ack-a-pella...Bitches

For the first time, in a LONG time I'm excited to see a movie!  I just hope they didn't use all the good lines in this trailer!

"I have a feeling, we should kiss"

"I sometimes get a feeling I could use crystal meth....but then I think, mmmmm better not"

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OUR Artist of the Week: Austin Young

Austin Young came into the world on April 14th, 1966 and grew up in Reno Nevada --a city and state he is immensly fond of to this day. His family were Ranchers and engineers with ties to the region reaching back to the 1800s.

Like most of us, Austin Young felt he didn't fit in while growing up. 

Describing himself as "terribly shy", during his teenage years, he was a self described social outcast who endured teasing and taunts of "Faggot, queer and homo".  Because of that daily abuse,  Austin felt Junior High and High School were unsafe environments for him.  He remembers "--one day deciding that if people were going to call me a freak, I might as well be one." 

And an artist was born. 

 
Pop Culture, was his saving grace and inspired his creative endeavors.  Young has been documenting pop, sub, and trans culture since 1985 through portraiture. *"A portrait is a representation of an individual; it’s intent: to capture the essence of the sitter."

His short videos have over 5 million hits on YouTube. He is one third of the collaborative art group, Fallen Fruit.

Young’s portraits have been featured in major publications such as Interview magazine, OK, and Flaunt. His work has been the subject solo exhibitions and projects at Pop tArt Gallery (Los Angeles, CA), Machine Project (Los Angeles, CA), Hammer Museum (Los Angeles, CA), Berkeley Art Museum (Berkley, California); and as well as groups shows at Los Angeles Contemporary Exhibitions (Los Angeles, CA) among many others.  *wikipedia.

It is easy to note that his work is visually striking, entertaining and pleasing to the eye.  It combines traditional and off-beat beauty with emotion and intimacy that connects to the viewer in a profound contemporary way.

Meet the Artist here:

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Family Dinner

I kind of took this weekend off as far as the blog goes.   My mom's half brother, who I located after 42 years while doing the whole family history thing, came to visit this weekend so my mom wanted a picnic.   She's 81, in really poor health and when she wants to throw a picnic, what she's really saying is "Geoff will do all the work and I'll take all the credit".  Fine.  

So in addition to helping entertain my uncle and his wife (which was a joy, they are really cool people) I also invited the nearby relatives and cooked the whole meal for about 20 ppl.  Well, I cooked everything but the chicken.... THAT I ordered from a store.

 

• The meal consisted of fried chicken. 
• 10lbs worth of potatos for the potato salad.
• Fruit salad consisting of Honeydew, Watermelon and Cantalop.
• 45 deviled eggs
• 45 Jalapeno Poppers (made from scratch baby!)
• 2 huge trays of veggies and dip
• Sun Tea
• Pink Lemonade
• Pop
• Coffee

 

There was puh-lenty of food.  

 

Highlights of the meal:

 

The ONE job I gave my sister was to pick up the fucking chicken, which she did.  An hour and a half LATE.   People were hungry damnit.

 

My uncle and his wife seemed to have a great time, and then I heard him say "I only watch FOX news".  Ugh.

 

My oldest brother brought his Seventh Day Adventist craziness to the meal and he and his wife also brought and ate their own food, talked government conspiracies and how they hate Obama.

 

My other uncle called at the last minute to say he and his daughter weren't coming.  No loss.  He's a loser and I can't stand his kid (who's an adult now).

 

My Niece, her family and another cousin didn't show. 

 

Everyone came early so I didn't even get to change and I 'needed' to change.

 

And that's how it went.   Everyone said they had a good time.

 

Family.  Can't wait to leave them behind.

 

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Before...........

Words to start your friday off:

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Currently Crushing

  ...on Darren Criss.   I don't care if this makes me an old Troll.  This boy is fuhkking fine in every sense of the word!    I hope to heck they are going to release a full version of his cover of Madonna's Dress You Up!   I'm like a freaking school girl with this guy!  (Of course I love my partner without end)

 

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Time Travel Thursday

Thursdays are my favorite day of the week on the blog.  I've been collecting these photos for a long time, and many are from the web, some others I've had since I was in school.  I always try and keep a lookout for them when I'm shopping because there's something innocent and romantic about these photos wherever they come from.  Personally I look for the nuance in the photograph.  A well placed hand, a knowing gaze, a lack of personal space between the two men.....that's the treasure hunt, for me at least.  

 

 

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A Lesson In Judging

It was 1975, I think.  My parents had just reconciled after a painful separation,  and we had found a little house on VanBuren street in a brand new town. 

Our next door neighbor was Mrs. Winterholler, and she was an incredibly nice person.  She was a widow, and very independant.   She had brokered the friendship between her grandchildren Lisa and Sean with my sister and I, and we were thrilled each time they visited from the far away city of Seattle.

One summer day, shortly after moving in, we were working in the flower garden in the front yard with my dad, and Mrs Winterholler’s  son Mike, pull up in his car.  Before going inside his house, he came over to the fence  with a big smile on his face, said “Hi”, and shook my dad's hand.  Sherri and I had met him before, but it was my father’s first time.   They chatted for a minute and everything felt….easy, and friendly.  

As soon as he disappeared however, I clearly remember my dad turning to us with a scowl on his face.  “Stay away from that Hippie” he said.   I was confused .  Why did I have to stay away from Mike?  He was a nice guy!  He had cool clothes and long brown hair that he sometimes wore in a ponytail.  Besides, he was super friendly... long hair or no.   (The truth is, his hair wasn't really 'that' long, it only came down to his shoulders.  But to my dad that was a symbol of everything that was wrong with the world at that time). 

This was just before Mikes impending wedding to a girl named Cyndy.  The reception was to take place at his mother's house and Lisa and Sean told us there were going to be a lot of people.  When we found an invitation in our mailbox for their reception, my sister and I were beyond excited!  My dad refused to go of course, but my mom...probably not wanting to be a rude neighbor,  said she would take us. 

That night we were dressed in our sunday best and walked next door.  It was so exciting!   Lisa and Sean had been right, there were all sorts of people, and  I remember Mrs Winterholler giving us a tour of her house.   Surrounding an open doorway, someone had painted a vine with beautiful leaves.    My sister and I ooohed and ahhhed over how cool it was.  Mrs Winterholler explained that Mike had painted it when he was in high school, and my mother warned me 'not to get any ideas' which made everyone laugh. 

We heard cheering in the front room when Mike and Cindy arrived.  They looked amazing to my eight year old eyes.   Mike was handsome in his suit (I think it was blue), and Cindy was flower child perfection with her vibrant orange hair that was really, really long.  Her dress had an empire waist, and as I recall,  she had flowers in her hair.   

I thought they were glamorous.  We stayed long enough to have some cake and then went home. 

Years passed, we moved to another house in another neighborhood and life went on.  

The next time I saw Mike and Cindy was at Sean's funeral.    

Fifteen years later, I’m friends with him on Facebook.     

I can’t think of Mike without thinking about my dad.  That “hippie” he was so judgmental about, raised a family, finished college and has taught acting for decades now.    Mike has always been an object lesson for me about judging other people.   I remember my father’s prejudice and I think of how amazing a person Mike was, and is today.    

Sadly, he and Cyndy are now separated, their marriage a casualty of time I guess.  But to me I will always remember them both through the lens of my youth…as that pony tailed hippie with his shockingly red-haired wife at their wedding reception.   A happy, glamorous couple from 1975.

Note:  The picture in this post is not of Mike & Cyndy.

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