December 1st, World AIDS Day

It began on December 1st, 1988, World AIDS Day is about raising money, increasing awareness, fighting prejudice and improving education.

The World AIDS Day theme for 2009 is 'Universal Access and Human Rights'. World AIDS Day is important in reminding people that HIV has not gone away, and that there are many things still to be done.

According to UNAIDS estimates, there are now 33.4 million people living with HIV, including 2.1 million children. During 2008 some 2.7 million people became newly infected with the virus and an estimated 2 million people died from AIDS.1 Around half of all people who become infected with HIV do so before they are 25 and are killed by AIDS before they are 35.2

The vast majority of people with HIV and AIDS live in lower- and middle-income countries. But HIV today is a threat to men, women and children on all continents around the world.

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Study In Contradictions

Side note:  Pastor Rick Warren is on Meet The Press as I type this.   He was just asked a couple questions about gay marriage:
(paraphrasing)

Q:  Your church supported efforts against gay marriage.  Wouldn't that money have been better spent helping AIDS charities or other causes?

RW:  That's true of just about any cause.    But my involvement in that was not by choice (blah blah blah)

Q:  Will you do that again next time?

RW:  I have a position, sure, but I am not a polititian.  I am forbidden by the bible to hate.  I appreciate both sides of the equation.  (blah blah blah)

Q:  What are you thankful for?

RW:  I am thankful for my relationship with Jesus Christ, for the joy he brings in my life, for my wife, my family etc.

One thing I hate.....and I'm not forbidden to hate... although I don't,  is two-faced people who when called on the carpet for their behavior, HIDE behind the blanket of Christian Love.   I (like many of you) have seen both sides of that blanket first hand.  It's deplorable.

So here's this post after three edits:  A Study In Contradictions.   Who do YOU think has more joy in their life?

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Post Thanksgiving

The monsters had a good day too.

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Happy Turkey Day!

Sending a "Happy Thanksgiving" your way!

Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, be safe and enjoy yourself!

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Time Travel Thursday

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Underwear

There are few things as satisfying as freshly folded laundry.

I don’t know why, but washing, drying and folding…the whole process has always been something I’ve enjoyed.

Yesterday it was socks and underwear and as I was tidying up the drawer before putting it all away…..I found them.

My special occasion underwear.

You know what I’m talking about. That pair of underwear you reserve for “special” occasions? The ones that look great on, and even better off.

Odds are, they’re little more expensive than the everyday workforce hanging out in your drawer, and when you put them on you‘re not sure if they feel better because you don‘t wear them that often, or because you can‘t wait for him to see them….however briefly.

My “special occasion” underwear are pretty cool. I bought them on a trip to Calgary a few years ago, (btw…if you’re in the States and you’re gay? Canada has some of the coolest fashion you won’t find at home, so make a mental note)…anyway, mine are baby blue with darker blue piping and white racing stripes on the side --trust me, they’re hot.

I used to have several pairs on standby. All different styles, fun, and of course, sexy. But when I found my baby, my Doug….. I stopped buying them…..and eventually stopped wearing them altogether. I don’t know why for sure, but I suppose it’s because I didn’t think I had to impress him, or win him over with their magical powers anymore.

That’s why I decided to wear them today…….for tonight…..and you know what?

The old excitement I felt before, is nothing compared to what I feel now….and what he’s going to feel tonight.

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Legend In My Living Room

I was an interesting kid back in the day.

I had a huge huge HUGE fantasy life, and that creative cacophony simply could not stay containted within the confines of my skull most of the time.  

Consequently in grade school, I would corral my neighborhood friends and put on shows. I would draw, play barbies, repeat every song from the Donny & Marie show on the back patio at full volume (until my dad screamed for me to keep it down).

It makes me laugh now, to picture what he must've thought and felt about this son of his, this strange creature so unlike him whose spirit he couldn't  squash for very long.

Growing up, I would LIVE for time alone in the house where I could play the stereo in the family room at full blast and perform the entire soundtrack from the movie "Grease"......  complete with choreography.    Later, it was George Michael's solo work, and after that....I'm not sure....but I'm positive it was something fabulous.

I would spend my alone time, usually in my bathroom, living out imaginary interviews.  Johnny Carson, 60 Minutes, and of course....Barbara Walters all had me over for a longer than normal 'sit-down' because I was so famous and so interesting.   In fact, as I remember it, once....Barbara even made me cry.  

I know.  

As the Annie Lenox song goes, I truly was a legend in my living room. 

I miss that person.

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DOMA Anagrams

Top Ten Anagrams for "Defense of Marriage Act"

10.  Free! Free! Satanic dogma!

9.    America's negated offer

8.    Fanatics referee dogma

7.    Fear of Satanic emerged

6.    Farce of a disagreement

5.    I fear act of same-gender

4.    Deceit of free anagrams

3.    A farce of it: same-gender

2.    A. Gore fancies mate Fred

And the number one anagram for "Defense of Marriage Act":

1. Fear decrease of mating

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National Day of Remembrance for Transgender People

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Damn Back

I am out for a few more days w/this back thing.   Uggh.  I haven't had a back prob like this since my car accident three years ago!

Podcast is ready to go but I just haven't uploaded it yet.  Will try again this evening, sorry for the delay.

The heating pad is calling my name again....hope all my blog buddies are having a great week.

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What Would Jesus Do?

You've no doubt  heard about the Archbishop in DC threatening the cancelation of all social services by the Catholic church if legislation passes granting domestic partner benefits to same sex couples right?   It's just another example of Christian bigotry, hatred and discrimination toward the GLBT community...and it's disgusting.  

When I heard that story, I kept thinking of the popular saying Christians ask themselves when confronted with a dilemma......"What would Jesus do?" 

I have a hard time believing Jesus would approve that twisted line of thinking in the case of DCs Archbishop.  

It seems to me, the major roadblock we face as queers in todays world is religion.   Whether you're an islamic extremist, or a devout Baptist, almost all efforts to repeal your rights, and or exterminate you as a gay person are rooted in religion. 

Religion is the perfect excuse for sanctified hatred.   How can you argue or combat the so called "logic" espoused by an invisible, and non present deity?  

You can't.

And as long as religion strong-arms the government, whether you're in the Middle East, North America, or anywhere in between.....the battle is going to be fierce.  Make no mistake....it IS a battle.  It's a struggle, and it's a fight for life.  

Pay attention to your history!

From Hitler in Austria...to Iraq...to George W's election platform....when it becomes socially acceptable to marginalize gay people, all hell breaks loose.   We watch our current rights disappear...we face incredible odds stacked against the rights we deserve...and when the tide of hatred and oppression is allowed to flow unchecked we face eradication. 

Most queers today have no idea what it was like to grow up in the shadows of society.  I grew up in the 80's and that was bad enough....but even that era didn't compare to the times many of the men I feature on Time Travel Thursdays had to live through.
We have to find a way to change people's minds...in spite of religion.

I don't have the answer as to how we do that...maybe you don't either, but maybe.....we can come up with it together as we stand against those who hate us like the Archbishop of Washington D.C. 

What would Jesus Do?

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Time Travel Thursday (A Day Late)

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The Day I Met Martha Stewart part II

So there I was 4th in line, chatting with a mother and daughter combo from Price Utah.   They were nice and we got to know each other during the three and a half hours we ended up waiting.   I heard all about their kids, and they heard all about my fake wife who hurt her back rafting.  

The hallways would become momentarily crowded as each presentation wrapped up, and during those intermissions, when people realized we were waiting to meet Martha, the line began to grow.

I did a quick inventory:  Martha Stewart books for her to sign? Check!   Camera?  Two pictures left! Check!  Backstory of my nonexistant wife who couldn't be there so sent me instead?  Check!    I was set. 

Finally some tallish blond woman with a puckerish type of face informed us that Martha would be here soon, but before we were allowed in the room, we needed to allow two handicapped women in wheelchairs to cut in line. 

Okay...I'm as PC as they come, but this irritated me.   I had been standing in line for almost four hours!  I daydreamed about saying to the wheelchair combo, "Look honey.. while I'm sorry about your legs and life and all?   Get to the back of the line!"  But I didn't.  I still don't understand WHY they got prefferential treatment.  So now I was #6 to meet Martha, and I grudgingly decided I could live with that.

Finally the doors opened, and we all walked (and rolled) inside, only to wait another thirty minutes....but finally, the doors brisquely opened and some faceless women flanking the doyenne herself  arrived.  

I kid you not, there was a audible gasp when we realized it was her, and I still wonder what it must be like, to walk into a room full of people who are only there to see you, and hear them gasp in excitement.    Do you think it get's old or mundane after awhile?   I hope not.

Anyway, Martha was very nice.  She was much shorter in person (as most celebrities are for some weird cosmic reason) than I thought whe would be, and she was really really thin.  I always thought she looked a little 'stout' on tv, but she wasn't heavy at all, and was very coiffed and glam in that "I have more money than God" kind of way only women from the Hamptons can be.

When it was my turn, I chatted with her, she shook my hand (hers was small and rather cold actually) and my camera.......my little disposable (pre digital) with two precious pictures left........would not work.   Luckily the lovely mom and daughter buddies I had made while in line, came to my rescue and snapped a picture promising to send it to me.   (They never did btw.)   Martha signed my books and offered us all an oversized postcard handout as a memento.  There were three to choose from and they were black and white photos of an ear of corn and an egg and a hen.   No explanation of why they took pictures of these items, but they were from Martha so we were thrilled!   The mother and daughter tried to take one of each design....each, but the pucker-faced assistant called them on the carpet, informing the room that it was "ONE ONLY PER PERSON".   

It was fun meeting Martha Stewart.   I still have the books she signed, and the weird photo-card of the ear of corn.   The best part however was as I left the room, I saw the line to meet her stretch unbelievably long...I mean it was HUGE!  And when all those mormon women saw me, an obviously gay guy, with a non existant wife smiling triumpantly, signed books in hand...... they didn't look pleased at all.  

I smiled to myself and thought,  "Fuck em.   I met Martha."

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The Day I Met Martha Stewart

I was 25 and she was just really hitting it big.  I was a young gay guy about to come out of the closet, she was just doing the deal w/Kmart and structuring MSL Omnimedia. 

I was all out in love w/this woman, her life and advice were what I imagined I wanted my life to be and I ate up everything she did. 

I had just taken a job in radio full time, and when I found out Martha was going to be in Salt Lake City as the headliner at a design expo, I practically squealed with glee when I got my ticket. 

I wasn't a "NMF"....(that's newbie martha fan), I was "BWYFTED" kind of fan (been with you from the early days kind of fan).   I owned "Entertaining" and I recorded her show (on PBS in those days) on VHS tapes which I labeled and cataloged.   So I knew my Martha.
I was so excited for the trip, and amazingly scored a treasure trove of Martha Stewart coffee table type books at Hastings the week I got my ticket, (which were 75% off)!  So I packed them along with a disposable camera and set off on my quest to pay homage to my domestic goddess.

Salt Lake City is of course the heart of Mormonhood, and is ripe territory for Martha Stewart wannabes.  I stuck out like a sore thumb.   In a stadium filled with mormon women, I was one of about 4 or 5 guys.   I know because I counted.   Laughably I thought I was still securely in the closet, and told people I was there for my nonexistant 'wife'. 

The expo was full of other presenters showcasing their talents onstage, but everyone was really there to see Martha.    I knew she would be doing a book signing, so after her initial presentation, I left the boring supporting cast and headed out to find the line.
I was about 3 hours early for the signing, but I found it, and I was thrilled to be the 4th person in line!    I knew I was going to meet Martha!  And I wasn't disappointed.

(to be continued)

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Delicious

I missed this.....but found it on towleroad.com this morning.      I had my first belly laugh....my first true guffaw in about a week from her very first answer.

Thank you God.

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Jonny Promo

The interview with the one and only Jonny McGovern went down like butter!

Catch the podcast on 11/16 for the full deal!

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Thankful Vetrans Day

Thank you for serving our country.

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The Ga Ga Has Spoken

Punched inbetween the eyes...that's how I felt watching this a moment ago for the first time.    Yeah it will be schlocky ten minutes from now but for the moment it's HOT....and those shoes?   F#$%in tight.   Lady Ga Gay (to me) is the love child of Marilyn Manson & Madonna.

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Flying The Friendly Skies

An employee of USAir with the last name of Gay boarded a US Air flight with a free travel voucher. Soon after he sat down, someone else came and claimed he had the same seat assignment, so Mr. Gay moved down to an empty seat.

Soon after that the airplane began to fill up. The rule with the US Air employee vouchers is that if a paying customer needs your seat, you have to surrender it. So when the flight became completely full and still more needed to get on, a flight attendant went to the original seat of Mr. Gay and said the the man now sitting there, "Excuse me, are you Gay?"

The man, somewhat stunned, said, "Well, yes, as a matter of fact I am!"

The flight attendent said, "I''m sorry, but you''ll have to get off the plane."

At this point Mr. Gay, who had been watching all of this, jumped up and said, "Excuse me, you''ve made a mistake - I''m Gay!"
Finally, another man jumped up and said, "Well, hell, I''m gay too! They can''t throw us all off!"

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In Defense Of Faeries

I watched a movie last night called “Straight Acting”. It was intended to be a documentary with a warm gay fuzzy feeling for masculine guys. It followed the story of a gay mormon who, unhappy with his sexual identity found self acceptance through the testosterone charged sport of rugby. He found this road to self love by being around guys who didn’t fit the gay stereotypes and thought it would be fascinating to interview other athletes in similar sports across the country. Gay Rodeos, Hocky Teams, Rugby championships…this Mary went to them all, and each person interviewed continually bashed the sad and pathetic flamboyant gay…and lamented the lack of He-Man role models in the media during their formative years.

This really bugs me, for a couple reasons:

1) I find people like this to be small minded and usually not very mature in their sexual identity.

2) I used to be like this.

I straddle both sides of the limp-wristed fence. I was an obviously feminine kid who was butched up by my dad and the public school system. I grew to be one of those ‘Straight Acting’ guys….and hated seeing feminine traits in others even when I came out.

I’m not proud of that.

It wasn’t until about 2003 when I was part of a huge group of friends who like others all across the country, reserved their Sunday nights for watching Queer As Folk. I loved that show for many reasons, but chiefly because of Emmett Honeycut. Remember him? At first he was my least favorite character, but I grew to love him in stages. It wasn’t until my best friend Rodney gushed over why he loved Emmett that I too joined the bandwagon and as a result grew in my perception of faeries. The line from the show that sticks with me is: “It takes a lot of courage to be a queen in a world full of commoners”.
The thing is….personal and sexual expression are intertwined and whether you like to do hair or wrestle steers to the ground, it shouldn’t matter. We all have value and there are traits to notice and admire in all of us. I am in awe of feminine guys. The courage the have to simply be who they were born to be in the face of public ridicule, harrassment, and personal safety….is astounding.

There’s an old saying that you publicly hate things in others which you privately fear yourself to be…and I think that’s true. Because, when it all comes down to it…….whether you’re the mascu lenniest or the fiercest swishiest of the gay rainbow at the end of the day, we all like cock.

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I Want To Work Here....Seriously

I've been in love with this vid for a few weeks now, it never fails to make me smile.

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Oh Good Gawd....I'm An Oompa Loompa

Yup.....those were my first words this morning.

I stumbled out of bed, started my morning routine and when I finally looked in the mirror, with a mouth over-flowing with toothpaste , I actually half shouted, "Oh my god....I'm an oompa loompa!"

I have a particular bronzer I've been using for quite awhile now and it's fantastic.   Apply once every three days and you have a faint....natural.....barely noticeable bronze tint all week long.    I love it.  

Last night however....I grabbed the 'other bottle' because I was running a little low on the good stuff.   I hadn't used this one in about a year, and that was back when I was tanning before a trip (yeah, it's a 'thing' I do)...I thought it looked a little too dark at the time so I stopped using it, but never actually threw it away.  
So.......being the lilly white mostly irish gay boy that I am......apparently when you have no color to begin with, the damn stuff turns your skin ORANGE!

Washing my face helped. 

Shaving also, 'helped'.

I'm still orange.

It reminds me when I was back in highschool and I wanted blonde hair.  One weekend I bought this spray called 'Sun In'.  It promised "natural blonde hair in days" and I drenched myself in the stuff.    I thought it looked great until I went to school under the flourescent lighting and people kept asking why I dyed my hair orange.  

Maybe I'm just an Oompa Loompa at heart.

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Guess Who's Gonna Be On The Podcast!

Jonny McGovern!

Anybody who truly knows me, is fully aware of how in love I am with Jonny, his podcast, and his co hosts!  (in a completely non dangerous/psychotic way of course)

In addition to being the funniest, faggiest and well put-together podcast on iTunes, he, and his team, are to me, the 'most fabulous' in every possible way.

Now I've met some cool famous people.....numerous country superstars including Garth Brooks, Clint Black, Trace Adkins, Martina McBride and others, all thanks to my radio gig.   I've even been fortunate enough to shake hands with Martha Stewart, be at an event in Boise with Bruce Willis and say hi to Kiefer Sutherland. Now I am not trying to name drop in the douchiest way possible (although I already know I've succeeded), because we've all met stars at one time or another.....but as awesome as all those people were for me to meet?  

I am MORE excited about Jonny McGovern! 

(My assistant Karyn who works w/me on the podcast, just told me she pee'd a little over the phone and truth be told, so did I)

Now if I just don't fuck it up! 

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And The Blogs Were Quiet...........

With one or two exceptions, most of my favorite blogs have been eerily quiet today.

Is Thursday a holiday I didn't know about?

Did everyone take the day off because they were pissed off about Maine?

Even comments seem to be way down on blogs across the board.

I started thinking about what it would be like if bloggers shut their cyber doors for awhile......not a pretty picture.

Wherever you are today, I hope your Thursday is going great!

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Time Travel Thursday

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Story Behind The Pictures

Betcha can't guess the story these two polaroids are telling.

See, they're evidence photos from around 1982.   I found them the last time I was helping my mom go through her stuff.

Back in the day, my little 5'2 mom was a regional security officer for Payless Drugstore.  She oversaw all the stores and personnel in the state, and regularly worked the one in our town. 

While my mom and I have a complicated relationship today, I was extremely proud of her career when I was growing up and thought she had the coolest job ever.  The home store had a catwalk, only accessible by outside doors and required a twenty foot vertical climb up a steel ladder.  Once you reached the top there was a narrow hallway running the length of the store with rows of two way mirrors looking out onto the sales floor.  My mom would walk that hallway watching people with her high powered binoculars and was really good at picking out the criminals.
I LOVED visiting her at work.  Mainly because I could use the second pair of binoculars and watch all the hot guys....close up....in great detail if you get my drift.  My mom would be following someone suspicious at one end of the hallway, and I'd be 150 feet on the other end, often thankful the darkness hid my huge erection.
The photos above tell the obvious story of a college girl's theft of a butterfinger and a tube of lipstick.  The other story they speak to, but isn't as obvious is that of a little woman who picked up a  FBI agents, professionals from all walks of life, teenagers, parents who made their kids steal, an off duty policeman, a white supremicist wanted on federal charges of murder even a transexual she showed immense compassion for at a time when that wasn't usually the case....and so many more during a career that lasted more than 22 years.   My little mom was literally shot at once while working in Boise, and at home, she had a knife pulled on her three or four times, and was thrown to the ground, almost ran over twice and foiled numerous cases of employee theft.   

To look at her today you would never guess all that history about my mom in a million years, but these, now retro, kinda cool polaroids offer a glimpse into a fascinating past.

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Remember In Legally Blonde When.....

<==  This happened?


Visit

thelisp.blogspot.com
and you'll see why I felt this way!


Nuff said.  lol

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Queen Latifah Sunday

It's a Queen Latifah Sunday for me today.

"You can't be a 'Queen' Geoff, you're a boy!"

"Ahma gay boy baby...THAT's why I can be a queen today."

After an early movie, handing out candy to sweet kids, some with no shoes on (Call CPS!) and eating way to much sludge that I'll have to work off on monday, I think I've earned today.

It's a lazytakecareobusiness type o'sunday for me, and it's gonna last ALL DAY. 

An extra hour of life, Queen Latifah's new track (which is growing on me), a delicious breakfast, podcast, emails and baking goodies for a carebox.  Oh yeah, and the man I love....can't forget THAT!

Let your inner QL out baby!   She may be crowded in that little glass closet with Anderson Cooper and Jodi Foster, but she is big, brassy and fabulous!

I hope you're enjoying your sunday as much as I am!

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