In Defense Of Faeries

I watched a movie last night called “Straight Acting”. It was intended to be a documentary with a warm gay fuzzy feeling for masculine guys. It followed the story of a gay mormon who, unhappy with his sexual identity found self acceptance through the testosterone charged sport of rugby. He found this road to self love by being around guys who didn’t fit the gay stereotypes and thought it would be fascinating to interview other athletes in similar sports across the country. Gay Rodeos, Hocky Teams, Rugby championships…this Mary went to them all, and each person interviewed continually bashed the sad and pathetic flamboyant gay…and lamented the lack of He-Man role models in the media during their formative years.

This really bugs me, for a couple reasons:

1) I find people like this to be small minded and usually not very mature in their sexual identity.

2) I used to be like this.

I straddle both sides of the limp-wristed fence. I was an obviously feminine kid who was butched up by my dad and the public school system. I grew to be one of those ‘Straight Acting’ guys….and hated seeing feminine traits in others even when I came out.

I’m not proud of that.

It wasn’t until about 2003 when I was part of a huge group of friends who like others all across the country, reserved their Sunday nights for watching Queer As Folk. I loved that show for many reasons, but chiefly because of Emmett Honeycut. Remember him? At first he was my least favorite character, but I grew to love him in stages. It wasn’t until my best friend Rodney gushed over why he loved Emmett that I too joined the bandwagon and as a result grew in my perception of faeries. The line from the show that sticks with me is: “It takes a lot of courage to be a queen in a world full of commoners”.
The thing is….personal and sexual expression are intertwined and whether you like to do hair or wrestle steers to the ground, it shouldn’t matter. We all have value and there are traits to notice and admire in all of us. I am in awe of feminine guys. The courage the have to simply be who they were born to be in the face of public ridicule, harrassment, and personal safety….is astounding.

There’s an old saying that you publicly hate things in others which you privately fear yourself to be…and I think that’s true. Because, when it all comes down to it…….whether you’re the mascu lenniest or the fiercest swishiest of the gay rainbow at the end of the day, we all like cock.