Oh My God

Over breakfast a couple days ago I mentioned that I had prayed for D- and his upcoming test, which has been weighing on his mind lately and he seemed a little surprised.

"I didn't know you still prayed"

Hello? I thought to myself.....have we just met?"

"Of course I pray " I said.   "I still believe in God, just not religion"

What followed was a familiar conversation to us, exploring the idea/nature/belief of God, suicide and the hereafter.  Deep stuff over a cheesy omlette at eight in the morning.

I think it's natural at this stage of life....(that stage being middle age ),  to contemplate the bigger questions about....oh let's say eternity for instance.

I was always a deeply religious kid.  Sunday school, church, youth group, bible camp...you name it I was involved.  I also went to Bible College in an attempt to reach God and cure myself of being gay.   If I'd stayed on that path, I would have went on to Seminary, eventually married a woman and pastored a church.  I also most certainly would have cheated on said wife and congregation with men and paid a tragic price.

I don't pretend to know all the answers about God and heaven and hell, but those subjects were on my mind when I woke up at 5:30 this morning and couldn't go back to sleep.   

This is how I look at it:   Protestants, Catholics, Jews, Muslims, Mormans...take your pick.  They all think they have the "ONE WAY" to God.   They all have their beliefs and some will, have or just might even kill you if you cross them.
   
Every religion can't be right...so who is?   I don't know.

I DO believe there is a God, for many reasons, intelligent design being the most logical non belief based one off the top of my head.   In my opinion religion per se is mans device to reach the Divine.  D- would add that it's also mans invention to control the masses-- I think both views are right.  I also think religion, is one of the most destructive things to the soul, but that's a whole other tangent.

When it comes to God, the thing is, we just don't know.   Until He (or some would say "She", but  that's blasphemy!) let's us know first hand ....it will remain the greatest mystery of life.

I know personally when I pray, it comforts me.....I don't feel alone...and I have experienced Gods influence in very real and tangible ways...and no church, or religion can change that or take it away.  The rest?  I'll just have to wait and see, just like everyone else.