I've Lost My Mom

I've mentioned my mom before on this blog, and taken care of her for many years.   The truth is she took care of me too.   It hasn't always been easy, in fact at times it's been a nightmare, but through it all she was my mom. 

This morning I found her in the bathroom between 3 and 4 AM, and she was gone.   My heart is broken and I feel so lost.   Rest in peace Mom.  I love you with all my heart.

Beverly Joan --

July 1931 -October 2012

 

(photo taken May of 1985)

 

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Can't Make Someone Love You

It's no secret I wear my heart on my sleeve.  I feel things deeply, often too deep.    I haven't posted in what...a month almost (?) because a lot's been going on. There's the consistent "drama with my mama"...I don't think will ever change until she passes on-- and while that's painful and draining it's nothing compared to the end of a relationship.   

D and I broke up a few weeks ago, only to come back together and agree to try again.   I didn't handle it well at all....I felt so many things.  Abandoned, alone, a chump.... mournful of the loss of my best friend and of course a whole lot more.  I think he agreed to 'try' because he was worried about me...(I'm a crier, sue me), and that adds another layer of hurt ...and embarrassment.   

 

Right now, communication has dwindled (his choice),  and I'm just waiting for the hammer to fall on his end.     The truth is, it's pretty much fallen on my end too, but there's that small albeit desperate part of me that holds on to the hope that it will work out (which I know it wont).

 

You can't make someone love you.

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Austin Police Dept, "It Gets Better"

Touching addition to the "It Gets Better" project from the Austin Police Dept.  Well worth the watch.  Video after the jump.

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FB Faves From Today

Favorite FB pictorals tonight! Just had to share.


 

 

 

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She's Baaaaack!

The most infamous intern in the U.S. is back on the radar after 20 years, and who could blame the buxom, raven haired, thong sharing cigar molester?   Monica Lewinsky is shopping a book deal about her torrid affair with Bill Clinton and could receive a large paycheck in the proces ....to the tune of about 12 million bucks.  Not a bad payday eh?

I watched her interview all those years ago with Barbara Walters, and I even bought her first book.  And if I'm being honest, I also felt sorry for her.    Of course now that she's an adult she's a little steamed about Bill Clinton getting off scott free after the scandal while she was forced to wear a scarlett letter A, hence the tell all.  Do I feel sorry for her now?  Well........maybe a smidge.   

The young chubby girl with the beautiful smile from...Oregon was it?  Got a pass because she was young and stupid.   Today...she's a wife and mother and should know better....but whatev.  Maybe Monica does deserve a payday after all the humiliation she had to put up with from Kenneth Starr.....I just don't want this to impact Hillary's bid for President in 2016. 

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Time Travel Thursday

I'm not sure how I forgot TT Thursday last week, but I did.   This is a classic military photo with a little something extra way before DADT.  A little drama, a little passion and a whole lotta chutzpah, dontchathink?

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If You Have the Stomach

So the ladies of The View decided to discuss Mitt Romney's '47 %' video.  Just reading that caption and seeing Hasselbeck's picture I can actually hear that harpies voice about to say something typically stupid.    Hasselbeck: "I also think there's a general feeling that with more and more people becoming dependent on government that by next July we could perhaps be celebrating "Dependence Day" and not "Independence Day" in this nation."  Video below if you have the stomach.

 

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Bitch Hit The Road & a Emergency Vet Trip

Today is going to be a busy, busy day and I already have the stress headache and bloodshot eyes to prove it.    Earlier this month I wrote a post "It's Just a Part of Life" where I talked about my mom's healthcare attendant.    I whined about how if I just outright fired her, the ensuing temper tantrum from momalah would be a nightmare.  So instead of nipping it in the bud...I hit the 'passive agressive' switch and became a cold hearted SOB.  Yesterday it sunk in and she quit...but I'm still in the dog house lol.  

 

The day started normally, but Dawn was extra quiet when she arrived.   I saw her doing dishes......notice I said 'doing', not 'washing'.  She was holding them under the faucet and running a sponge over them.  Not exactly sanitary in any sense of the word.   So I mentioned something to momalah because if I gently and sweetly said it to Dawn there would be hysterics.....and somehow the bitch overheard.    Five minutes later she was in the back of the house doing....I dunno what and all the sudden she appears almost powerwalking through the house...out the door....into her car...and drives off.   

 

Her boss calls an hour and a half later and say's she quit, so momalah tells the boss how much we all love dawn and how she won't have anyone else blah blah blah and would she have Dawn call her?  

 

Shit.

 

Dawn calls and proceeds to tell mom how horribile I am, my sister is, and how she L-O-V-E-D her....but she just couldn't be miserable.  So my mom tells her how she agrees with her, that she'll fix the problem because we really are horrible and please please please take the day to think about it and come back.  

 

After that call, I excused myself ...called Dawn in private and told her she was not welcome to come back.  Then I blocked the bitches number and sought cover.   To say it was a rough night is being kind, screaming phone calls demanding I apologize went on literally for HOURS.  My mother definitely has a screw loose.

 

Add to the above, my beloved pug is sick...either a virus or something neurological and I have to take him to the Vet today and my stress level is through the roof.  Thank God my sister (AKA She who shall not be named) stayed the night at our mom's house to calm her down.   

How's your tuesday?

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OUR Artist of the Week: Yankel Feather

Many Artists might be tempted to create a personal history or back story resembling Yankel Feathers as it affords the sort of providence that is sure to increase a talented painters work. For Yankel Feather however the truth of his history is a genuine and fascinating footnote to an incredible and prolific artist in every sense of the word. That is why Yankel Feather is OUR Artist of the week!

Yankel Feather was born in 1920 in Toxteth Liverpool. He was the youngest of seven children and the family was very poor. A self taught painter, Yankel began to paint as a young age and pursued his art with a solid determination despite such tragedies as an absent father and the death of his mother when he was fourteen years old.

His early life was spent as a struggling painter and it wasn't until 1940 that he had his first solo exhibition at a book shop in Manchester. Yankel Feather became part of the artistic bohemian fringe while working as a Telephone Operator and during this time he took studios at Park Walk in Chelsea in the 1940s and exhibited at the renowned Helen Lessore's Beaux Arts Gallery in London during the 1950s

During the 1960s and 70s Feather was popular and well known, owning night clubs and antique shops. Among his friends were George Jardine, Brian Epstein and the Beatles to name a few.

Yankel Feather was a prominent artist and eventual succesful business man. He was also openly gay and during his lifetime found love with two long-term partners, Bill King and Terry Arbuckle with whom he shared his home in Brighton. According to wikipedia, Yankel Feather expressed his sexuality in a series of simplified linear paintings. Feather is listed in the directory of Modern British Painters and his work is enjoyed by many collectors including Ringo Starr.

Yankel Feather died April 18th, 2009. His estate is managed by his surviving partner and committee.

 

 

 

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