To Porn, Or Not To Porn

When I go on my walks, I love Love  LOVE listening to “Gay Pimpin With Jonny McGovern”, but the thing is, because I’m using my Nike Plus, when I listen to a podcast, I’m committed….so if I want to switch to something else I’m stuck because it screws up my workout data. I know...."booh hoo", but while I love Jonny and crew, last night’s walk was a long one because it was all about porn.

I’m disappointed in myself because I should be salivating listening to the porn star interviews and all the behind the scenes dirty stuff…..but honestly I was just grossed out.

I SHOULD like porn! After all, I’m a guy and I’m gay…and that’s like 1000 times the sexual desire of a mere straight mortal man….but …eh……no, not really.....at least when it comes to buying it from a triple X bookstore.

I can hear you btw…… saying “Oh Geoff you’re just not sexual”.
Well beg your pardon, I am so!

Maybe it’s because of my shy Christian upbringing, I dunno. I mean I have been to porn stores before….even checked out a booth or back room (or two or three) when I was but a baby queerling (this was before the internet darling)…..but I have never really been into the triple X nasty as an enthusiast or collector.

The one time I DID buy a few DVDs, they were the cheap low budget stuff and I only watched them once because frankly, they made me gag. Then I spent the next year worrying about dying in an accident, and my sweet mother discovering my copies of “Latino’s Gang Bang Part Deux” and “College Jocks Get Schooled Raw Part Four“, so I finally destroyed them. 

Besides, my tastes run more along real life guys than sex stars anyway.

Whatever the reason, I guess when it comes “To Porn Or Not To Porn“…..I’m neither a Montague nor a Capulet…..and that’s fine by me.

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The Man In The Blue Underwear

We weren't supposed to be going through my parents closet, my sister and I, but we were.  We had lived at 1763 Maplewood drive for less than a year and the house had these cool closets with storage above where you huhg your clothes, and we were exploring.  We never snooped for christmas presents, so I'm not sure what the motivation was but  I do remember my older brother had shown up strung out, acting sort of crazy, and my parents had taken him to a treatment center after a stressful and confusing 'visit'. 

We found the magazine, pages askew, thrown against the back.   It wasn't just any magazine though, it was a DIRTY magazine and being the good little christian snoops that we were, we began thumbing through it to see what was what.

There was the stock fare of teats and vaginas laid bare for oggling.   I was twelve and unlike other boys  my age, I was completely repulsed by the pictures of women with their legs spread lewdly while they fingered themselves.  Gag.
It was pretty much standard porn rag material until we reached the vampire spread.    For about ten pages they had a vampire storyline going on.   A young girl in a neglige looking out a window, a vampire enthralling her etc. It was actually kind of artful.  Then there was a picture of the vampire laying in the bed with the girl on one side and another man on the other and things began to get interesting.

For three pages (yes I remember exactly) it showed the vampire having his way with both the man and the woman and I was mesmerized.  The man was wearing light blue underwear in the first few pics (until the vamp removed them) and I can still remember the feeling in my chest, my stomach and my dick as I scanned those pages into my mind.   I returned to that magazine many times before it disappeared.  

Years later I found out my brother had left it behind, but I'll never forget the first rush of lust I ever felt....brought about by the man in the blue underwear.

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