Saturday, October 31, 2009

One Turn, Two Turns....Just Down The Road


A lonely country road sometimes seems the best place to pull off the highway and have a little privacy.

That’s what ol Hank thought. His thick fingers steered his tow truck toward the dirt tracks that lay just ahead. At 37, 6 feet of solid muscle and thick auburn hair cut high and tight, he always had his choice of willing partners -- well most of them were willing, and that brought a smile to his face.

Glancing in the rearview mirror he saw the small white car behind him. The driver, another nameless kid with hunger in his eyes and a willing mouth had approached Hank at the rest stop with an offer he just couldn’t refuse. Hanks voice, deep with a slight twang had whispered in the kids ear “Follow me and I’ll let you have your fun little man.

The kid had asked how far, and Hank just smiled that easy smile “One turn, two turns, just down the road. It’s not far and we can relax when we get there.”

The kid had nodded his agreement and dutifully stayed behind Hank for the last couple miles. The hook of the tow line swung in front of him, as the two vehicles moved further away from civilization. The headlights came on automatically, triggered by the first hint of darkness, casting their yellow glow ahead. It was a rough and uneven ride but the tow truck easily navigated the path it had followed so many times before, and the little white car stayed right behind.

Dusk does funny things to men, it changes the sense of what’s right and what’s wrong…. urging good men to cross lines they normally wouldn’t.

(This is my first completed story....if you'd like to read the rest, click here:  http://storypurgatory.blogspot.com/2009/10/one-turn-two-turnsjust-down-road.html)
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Friday, October 30, 2009

The Magic Of Blogging


I’m waking up.

Wiping the sleep from my eyes, vivid dreams of regret, forgiveness, possibility….all fresh in my mind.

Turning on my computer before the sun has a chance to spread it’s light.  I’m addicted in the worst and best way to this machine. It’s been my downfall, and my salvation.

Surfing, ingesting, digesting another incredible blog by someone I don’t know, but realize I could be.

A blog full of paintings, pictures, prose, talent, bitterness and hope…simple in presentation, eclectic in content, yet clearly defined in vision…..offering a glimpse into the soul of someone who‘s been down the block of life.
One photo series brought a particular memory rushing back….that of the best sex I ever had. The memory still creates a post orgasmic rush in my chest and an involuntary smile to my lips. Thankful….for the experience…..the memory and for being reminded.

There are some truly amazing people ‘out there’ in the world. They offset the ugliness of the masses simply by living their lives, by creating the magic that is inherent in every gay human being.

That is the magic of blogging.
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Thursday, October 29, 2009

Time Travel Thursday


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Wednesday, October 28, 2009

I Have A Deal For You


I'm looking for some contributors for the podcast.......think you might be interested? 

I'm looking for people to do essays (regular blog posts like you already do), film/tv critic, health corner, or your own idea for the podcast!

For anyone who will sign up to do a weekly or biweekly feature, I will produce two or three blog promos for your blog. (like the one I did for Kevin at The Lisp). 

Then, I'll run them during the podcast each week, AND send you the files to use however you want on your own platform!  My career is in broadcasting,  so I promise I'll do a good job and we'll each get what we all really want....traffic and exposure for our blogs!   (and who knows?  Maybe a little fame too!)

Are you up for the challenge?   You're already writing, expressing yourself and being creative.   Come on board!

Who?     You
What?   A segment on the podcast
When?  Weekly or biweekly.
How?     Via phone (I'll record you from my studio) or you can send me a video or audio file.
In Exchange for:  a kickass promo featuring your blog!
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Loni Wasn't Feelin the Love Last Night....


I was watching Chelsea Lately last night on 'E' and while I normally love the show, it took a weirdly unfunny turn.

If you've never seen it, Chelsea Handler (a mostly inept comic) heads a roundtable at the beginning of the show where she reads off hot topics followed by 3 other comics who take turns being funny. 

Loni Love is one of my favorite comedians on the roundtable, but last night when Chelsea threw out the topic of Morehouse College initiating a dresscode banning the black, all male student body from wearing heels, and womens clothing ...it  quickly became uncomfortable.  

Loni not only had a problem with the story but when the other comedians (including Chelsea who couldn't read her jokes off a cue card without stumbling to save her life...ever) made their jokes, Loni became visibly upset. 

At first it was hard to tell what exactly pissed her off because everything happened so quickly.  First there was the Brown University topic, then there was a joke about one person always being designated "the bitch" in an all male school, then it went to an impersonation by Jo Koy of a gay black man followed by an asian hairdresser doing black womens hair.   The jokes didn't come across as mean or racially offensive, the audience thought it was funny....I actually thought it was funny, but Miss Love was having none of it.

I guess I'm just sick of the double standard.  Black comics can say anything about white people and get away with it....but the reverse is not true.   Maybe white people have it coming?  I don't know...it's an uncomfortable subject but a relevant one.

To me, it seemed like she was pissed off at the beginning by the insinuation there could be black men wearing womens clothing, or who are gay.   Someone even mentioned that if I remember right. 

In retrospect it seems Loni Love doesn't believe tolerance and equality work both ways. 

Maybe she should skip the roundtable from now own.
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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Masculine Costumes For Your Prancer

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Saturday, October 24, 2009

Interview Anyone?


Hey Blog Buddies!!

I'm looking for someone who would like to be interviewed about their blog this weekend for the new podcast.  The odds are several of you are already on my list, but my scheduled blog interview for today had to reschedule....and I need someone to chat with for about 5 minutes!  

SO..............if you're interested, send me an email at lifeandtimesofagayguy@yahoo.com and we'll make it happen! 

In the meantime.....
Here is a video I saw earlier this week and it cracks me up.   This kind of stuff always happens to me......in my head at least!

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Friday, October 23, 2009

Because You Forget


Because you forget, please remember,

All that you have accomplished in your life.   It doesn't matter whether you're famous and wealthy, or anonymous and modest.   Just the fact you are at this point here and now is something to be proud of, but of course there is so much more than you're aware of.

The future isn't written yet, and it lies before you.   Cast aside all the limits and barriers we as adults place upon ourselves and rediscover the optimism of youth where potential is limitless.

Your body really is your temple, so take care of it.  The future will be here before you know it, and you're going to need it in the best possible condition.  

Take heart, because even when it seems you can't make it through the moment....you will.

Because you forget, please remember..........somebody loves you.  Even at the lowest point in your life, when things are at their worst and you feel more alone than you've ever felt, hold onto this:  Someone knows who you are inside and loves you because of it.
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Thursday, October 22, 2009

The Silver Gravy Ladle


John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how handsome John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of Johns' sexual orientation and this only made her more curious.  


Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Mark and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Mark came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Mark, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Mark. But the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed, he would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom"
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Time Travel Thursday


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Wednesday, October 21, 2009

One Wrong Call


I'm not a big baseball fan and it's probably because I can't throw a ball to save my life without someone screaming "YOU THROW LIKE A GIRL!" (Thanks a lot Dad). So I don't really pay attention to the game unless I'm channel surfing and happen across a hot player.


A night or two ago, a MLB Ump totally missed a call....it was all over the news and as you would expect, there was outrage from fans and officials for a couple hours and then it just sort of disappeared from tv once everyone had vented and the Ump was personally and professionally embarrassed.

Although most have forgotten all about it, I'm sure that Ump hasn't. I'll bet he's replayed that moment in his head over and over...berating himself and mourning the fact his head just wasn't in the game when it was supposed to be.

My interest was piqued as they kept showing a picture of the Ump standing by the base totally looking the other way as the crucial play went down in front of him.

We are like Umpires.

We are each responsible for making judgment calls regarding every facet of our existence.... and in the scheme of things it's probably the most important job in the world.

How often do we miss a crucial moment because we're looking the other way? I suspect it's more often than we'd like to admit.  And just like that Ump from the other night, we have to pay the consequences just as much as we reap the rewards.

It's a sad fact that by simply not paying attention......by looking the other way, we could lose a game  or something really important if we're not paying attention in the moment.

One bad decision, one wrong call, can change everything if we're not careful.    
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Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Let'cha Haters Be Ya Motivators


I wish I was 'all street' because then I could actually pull off that sentiment without sounding like an aging white guy.  But in the words of another aging white guy with a lot more street cred than I posess, "I yam what I yam".

Motivation can come in many forms, and those who can take someone elses 'hate' and turn it into a positive action for change seem to go far in this world.   The gay rights movement is a good example.   It doesn't seem like it sometimes, but we've come a helluva long way in 40 plus years.....of course there is still a long way to go.    

That letter from Congressman Simpson was still bugging me this morning when I read about remarks made by LDS Apostle Dallin Oaks regarding Prop 8.   "The LDS leader, a former Utah Supreme Court justice, said students 'must not be deterred or coerced into silence' by advocates for 'alleged civil rights.'  (Towleroad)

"Alleged"???   Really?

It's a fact of life we will encounter haters wherever we go.  But if we can seize that hate and use it to our advantage, there is no end to the possibilities.  

 "Let'cha Haters Be Ya Motivators!"
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Monday, October 19, 2009

So Mad I Could Spit


I'm not sure what I expected, but after reading my Congressmans response to my email urging him to support GLBT legislation (which I sent before the National Equality March), I'm ticked.

After lecturing me on DOMA, he went on to say that, "When the issue of same-sex marriage has come before me in Congress, I have supported amending the U.S. Constitution to define marriage as a relationship between one man and one woman. Marriage has played a foundational role in our nation and in civilization throughout history. It is our most basic social institution, and it should be protected by law and not left subject to the whims of a particular court."

There's some more lecturing, but you get the point.   THIS is why everyone should be writing their Congressman.  When Geoff Martin writes, he thinks "Oh this is one fag...his fairy ass vote doesn't matter."  But when we write and call and picket EN MASSE, they will sing a different tune.

Here is what I wrote back:

Dear Mr Simpson,

I just received your email lecturing me on DOMA and your voting record against gay rights legislation.
I would like to remind you, that you serve at the behest of the voters, and your job is to represent all of them-- that includes those in the GLBT community.
As I'm sure you were reminded when President Obama was elected in a sweeping victory, this country is moving toward, and demanding change.
I'm sure you can recognize that regardless of your religious views, discrimination is illegal and morally wrong.
Please reconsider your outdated and embarassing views on GLBT rights and cast your future votes with the knowledge that even in Idaho, the voice for change is growing, and that change could mean filling your seat with an elected official who believes in equality for all.
We in the GLBT community will be watching your voting record and urge you to show your humanity and change your stance.
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Friday, October 16, 2009

Just Because


"Manny" by Jeff Brewster

Is there anything quite as beautiful as the male form?  
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To Porn, Or Not To Porn


When I go on my walks, I love Love  LOVE listening to “Gay Pimpin With Jonny McGovern”, but the thing is, because I’m using my Nike Plus, when I listen to a podcast, I’m committed….so if I want to switch to something else I’m stuck because it screws up my workout data. I know...."booh hoo", but while I love Jonny and crew, last night’s walk was a long one because it was all about porn.

I’m disappointed in myself because I should be salivating listening to the porn star interviews and all the behind the scenes dirty stuff…..but honestly I was just grossed out.

I SHOULD like porn! After all, I’m a guy and I’m gay…and that’s like 1000 times the sexual desire of a mere straight mortal man….but …eh……no, not really.....at least when it comes to buying it from a triple X bookstore.

I can hear you btw…… saying “Oh Geoff you’re just not sexual”.
Well beg your pardon, I am so!

Maybe it’s because of my shy Christian upbringing, I dunno. I mean I have been to porn stores before….even checked out a booth or back room (or two or three) when I was but a baby queerling (this was before the internet darling)…..but I have never really been into the triple X nasty as an enthusiast or collector.

The one time I DID buy a few DVDs, they were the cheap low budget stuff and I only watched them once because frankly, they made me gag. Then I spent the next year worrying about dying in an accident, and my sweet mother discovering my copies of “Latino’s Gang Bang Part Deux” and “College Jocks Get Schooled Raw Part Four“, so I finally destroyed them. 

Besides, my tastes run more along real life guys than sex stars anyway.

Whatever the reason, I guess when it comes “To Porn Or Not To Porn“…..I’m neither a Montague nor a Capulet…..and that’s fine by me.
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Thursday, October 15, 2009

Time Travel Thursday


I'm not sure if these two guys were a couple or not, but the gay quotient of the photograph is certainly unmistakeable don'tcha think?
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Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Easy Road Today

I have a headache, a little stuffed up and have that general, overall 'yuck' feeling so am taking the easy road today.

I found this on another blog last week, and I cannot remember whose blog so I can't give them credit....but I've gotta share this.   Michael Buble is absolutely freakin adorable, and as the (now forgotten) original blogger shared in their post, "This shit happens to me all the time".  That line still makes me chuckle, because it happens to me too.



"It's" already happened to me, but I LOVE this song!
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Monday, October 12, 2009

Remembering Matthew


Face of a generation.
RIP Matthew
Dec 1, 1976 - Oct 12, 1998
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Sunday, October 11, 2009

NEM






















Early this am










Workshop from lat night
Not moving at this point

A very popular sign.  Not sure how I feel about this.

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Saturday, October 10, 2009

Off For The Weekend, but


will try to check in as time allows!   Have a great weekend blog buddies!
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Friday, October 9, 2009

Let Them Know!


Okay, you're not going to be able to go to Washington DC for the National Equality March....or maybe you are going.

Right now you're sitting at your computer right?
Take 5 minutes away from blog and porn surfing to write AND call your State Rep and Senator, heck even your Govenor to let them know you support the march, and as a voter who VOTES (and I know you do), you expect them to represent you as a gay constituent and vote yes on gay issues.
A couple tips: 
Be polite, be direct.  Tell them as a constituent and a voter, you want to urge them to support gay rights legislation in your state and federally.  And that you will be keeping their voting record in mind when you vote in the next election.  I just did it and everyone was very polite to me.
  
It's easy, it takes 5 minutes, and will be just as, if not more important than going to DC this weekend...... I've tried to make it easy as pie....here are the links!

https://writerep.house.gov/writerep/welcome.shtml

http://www.senate.gov/general/contact_information/senators_cfm.cfm

Governors Contact

Sample email:  (I just copied and pasted the following)

I am attending the National Equality March in Washington DC this weekend, and as a consituent and a voter who votes, I am urging you to support gay rights legislation in Idaho, and federally.

I am an out, gay taxpayer and appreciate your representation for GLBT rights in the Gem State.
I will be paying attention to your voting record on gay rights when I vote in the next election.
Thank you


Geoffrey Martin
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Thursday, October 8, 2009

Time Travel Thursday


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Heroes Are Not Born...

It’s often said that Heroes aren’t born in the womb, they are borne of the moment. Such is the case of Frank Kameny.
What?
His name doesn’t sound familiar?
Gather round children and let me tell you about the gay man who couldn’t wait for the Stonewall uprising.


Frank Kameny was born in 1925, and is still alive today. A World War II vetran, who entered college at 15 to study physics, and served in a World War also aggressively pursued an education earning a doctorate in astronomy from Harvard, After teaching at Georgetown University, he went on to win a Civil Service job with the U.S. Army Map Service. Soon after however, he was questioned about reports he was a homosexual, was fired and then permanently barred from any future federal government employment.

At a time when homosexuals were hunted by the government in a society which deemed them sick and perverted, Frank Kameny refused to accept the hand that fate had dealt him and sued the government taking his case all the way to the Supreme Court. Although the court denied his petition, it is notable as the first civil rights claim based on sexual orientation

Kameny realized it was society’s negative image of gays which even permeated the self-identity of gay and lesbian people themselves and that had to be challenged. Thus a gay pioneer was born. He, along with Jack Nichols, co-founded the Mattachine Society that pressed aggressively for gay and lesbian civil rights. In 1966 he coined the slogan “Gay is Good” a saying he says he wishes he would be most remembered for. Kameny did so much in our struggle for civil rights, in 1971 he founded the Gay Activists Alliance and he is also a cofounder of the National Gay Task Force and the National Gay Rights Lobby of which he remains involved with today.



Frank Kameny had a direct hand in making our lives as Gay men and women, possible today. We owe him a huge debt of gratitude.
Source and Material cited:
Who is Frank Kameny? by David Bianco
and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Kameny
Accompanying Aural:
Gloria Gaynor: "I Am What I Am"
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Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Surprise! I've Been Robbed!


I haven't driven the Jeep in a couple days, mostly because it's been cold and I didn't feel like going anywhere.

Since we're out of milk and bread and anything good  I decided to go to the grocery store and when I climbed inside the Jeep I realized....things looked....'off'.  Then it hit me.....

I've been robbed!  Surprise!

Yeah, literally.  Someone broke into my Grand Cherokee and cleaned it out....and to top it off?  They left the door ajar which ran the battery down which I cannot charge because the battery charger I kept in the cargo bay is also long gone.  (I thought it was concealed, but they found it)

Look....I know times are tough, but when you have precious little it's just that:  Precious.   Damn.  Did they have to steal from me?  

All told, they probably made off with a couple hundred dollars of stuff, so it's not even worth calling the Police because they'll never be caught.
 
The last time I was robbed was about 17 years ago when I had just put a new sound system in my car.  Apparently a nephew had left his door unlocked and they'd gained access that way.  I was woke up at 3am by the police who had saw my trunk open and somehow caught the little teenage bastards.   Although they'd recovered everything, it later disappeared from the evidence room at the police station and the city had to reimburse me.   (It later turned out one of those nice officers also had sticky fingers)

I should be mad as hell, and maybe on some level I am, but truthfully I'm just freakin deflated at the thought that someone felt they could just take what I have.  Now I have to call a tow truck.

Just had to vent and share. 
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Compton Riots


Have you ever heard of “Hair Faeries”?

How about Compton’s Cafeteria?

Do you know about a defining gay riot that
preceded Stonewall by three years? 

Check out Screaming Queens: The Riot at Compton's Cafeteria, and you‘ll learn about an event which is often overlooked in GLBT history books.

Compton’s Cafeteria in San Francisco was a gathering place for people from all walks of life including those who were Transgenderd and Drag Queens. It was a rough time to be either Trans or a Drag Queen because in 1966 these gals were under constant threat of arrest for wearing women’s clothing in public. Although Compton’s was located in a rough neighborhood, “Hair Faeries” as they referred to themselves at the time, could hang out in relative safety.

The riot began on a night when police were summoned to handle some rowdy patrons. When a policeman picked the wrong Drag Queen to rough up, she threw a cup of coffee in his face and the riot was full on. Chairs were thrown, the restaurants huge plate glass windows were busted, cop car windows were shattered, a newsstand was burned to the ground and blood was spilled.

The following night, saw the return of more transgendered people, others from the neighborhood, and the GLBT community at large. The crowd began picketing the cafeteria which was now refusing to serve them and things again got ugly. The demonstration ended on the second night when the newly reinstalled windows were smashed once again.

Screaming Queens” features interviews with some of these ladies during this time, and it’s fascinating to hear them speak about their lives back when GLBT people and gay rights were rising to the country’s collective consciousness. You can watch it online, and you tube has segments of the movie available as well.

I can’t begin to fathom the courage these people must have had then (and now) to just live their lives. We all owe them a debt of thanks and remembrance.


  
A personal goal of mine this month is to learn something new about our history every day, and I’m glad I now know of the Ladies, Queens & Queers of the Compton Riots.

Accompanying Aural:
Tracy Chapman: "Talkin Bout A Revolution"
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Tuesday, October 6, 2009

The Boy I Was...


I was in the second grade at Lincoln Elementary School during an especially harsh Idaho winter. I was wearing my new coat that had fur around the hood and I was working up a sweat playing a game of kissing tag. In our politically correct world of today I don’t suppose that game is still being played, but in the early 1970’s we played it a lot, and had a blast.

There were about five girls and three boys, and I’m sure the idea to play the game came from the pack of girls who chased us around the icy playground. I was caught once by a girl in pigtails whose name I cannot remember, but instead of sitting out I deviously offered my services to the girls team, to help them catch Scotty Tucker. He was their prize, and mine too but it was no surprise when she accepted my services. I was faster and stronger so me being her ally made sense.

Second grade then, and hopefully now, is too young to know much about sexual attraction, but I knew I wanted to catch, and hug Scotty. He was cute.

No one knew I had been kissed by pigtail girl so I was still in the game. I eluded the other chasers and with my eye on target., headed for Scotty and spun around to face ‘our’ pursuers. The girls had corralled us by the fence We were cornered. I waited until they were about to pounce on the two of us, and then dived to the right wrapping Scotty in a bear hug.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING????” he shouted! “YOU'RE A BOY!”

I know!" I laughed, "I’m on their side now!”

Of course I didn’t know how prophetic that declaration truly was. But long story short, he struggled, I squeezed tighter enjoying the feel of him in my embrace, the girls struck and when it was all over and done he was mad at me.

I don’t ever remember playing kissing tag again in the second grade.

2nd grade was a pivotal year for me, but those stories are for another post.

Scotty and I went through school together, but weirdly enough I don’t remember him in my school memories although my yearbooks prove he was there. I do however, clearly remember his face in the second grade on that cold winter day at recess, when he was my very first crush.

That was the day I learned something important about the boy I was, and the man I was to become.

Acompanying Aural:
Simon & Garfunkle: "The 59th St Bridge Song" /AKA  "Feelin Groovy"
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Monday, October 5, 2009

I Am Gay


I am gay.

I’m a queer, a fag, a faggot, a fairy, a fudge packer, cocksucker, homosexual, pansy, sissy boy, sodomite light in the loafers destined to hell (in the minds of some) lover of men.

It’s true.

So many people today eschew labels. “I don’t want to be boxed into something!” “I want to be accepted by society at large”.
I DON’T
GIVE
A
FUCK.
Because while I am an educated man, a middle aged man, with a career, with love, generosity and creativity in my heart, soul, life and actions, I am also gay.

I am but the sum of all my parts….each facet contributing to the gem that I am.

I make no apologies for any of it to anyone anymore.

It’s funny to write that, because I’ve been an out gay man for many years. You’d think that would already be my credo, my mission statement, my personal manifesto. But somewhere along the way I forgot some of that sense of self.

It’s good to evolve, it’s essential to the human spirit to aspire and those are good things.
Being gay is a central part of who and what I am. I’m not ashamed of that. I embrace it.

Today I was looking at 1970’s Gay Americana. Raw photos from early in the gay movement of men, leathermen, sissy boys, lipstick lesbians and bull dykes who made this attitude part of their life at a time when it meant public ridicule, private suffering, and at times bodily injury or even death.
I can’t spit on the shadow of their legacy with indifference, apathy or shallow hearts desires.

I am gay, and proud of it.

The Village People: "YMCA"
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Sunday, October 4, 2009

"Hello Fate??? There's Been A Mixup!"


When I grow up, I want to be this guy. 

Seriously.

I know I'm a bit old to look at someone elses life wistfully and wish we could trade places, but I can't help it.  In  youth obsessed gay culture, most of us turn our backs on the future and what growing older means.    Well listen close Mary, because it doesn't have to be scary.  This gay man has carved out a life I would give my eye teeth for in so many respects!

Check out his blog profile:

Extremely active, middle-aged gay man, theatrical designer, teacher and arts administrator retired early from MIT in 2007. I raised two daughters adopted from Korea as a single parent and married my long-time partner in a Massachusetts same-sex wedding on May 23, 2004. We're currently living in the new very green, solar house I designed for my husband and myself. Kinsey: 6 Myers-Briggs: ENFJ

I've written about the apathy of today's queer youth and how they lack role models.   This guy would be my role model on paper.  (Okay...cyber paper.)

Active, theater involved, teacher/prof, educated, married (on my freakin birthday no less) landscape designer, AND living in a green house he designed on his own!   (HELLO???? Fate?  There's been a mixup!)

Visit his blog and check out an amazing individual!  DesignerBlog
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Saturday, October 3, 2009

The Fever


This is about sex, so be warned.

Men view sex differently than women, and gay men ....well we view it the same as straight men...we just have a hell of a lot more of it.

Growing up, I always referred to it as ‘the fever’.
To me, that was when ….out of the blue……every thought, every urge every impulse was all about s-e-x………. bigtime.

Totally unexpected 'lust', 'the urge'…“the fever“.

Every so often it would hit me head on, like a hijacked inner city bus: big, powerful, noisy…and not very clean lol.
“Sir, just pay the faire. You’re getting on to get off Sir. No argument accepted.”
None was ever offered.

I was always amazed when it would strike. It wasn’t like I was deprived (although I wasn’t exactly promiscuous) so I was baffled as to why lust would just slam me up against the wall and make me it‘s bitch.

Now if you can‘t tell I’m not just writing about being horny…….I‘m talking about the irresistible urge for cock.

Where you literally can almost feel a dick in your throat or up a guys ass…..and ‘almost feeling it’ isn’t good enough either. You HAVE to feel it.

I’m talking about the experience of a stubble scraping, teeth clicking, tongues dueling spit sharing kiss that is hard and tender at the same time where you feel like your floating, if you stand up you’d fall down dizzy and that kiss could go on and on forever…and when you’re done?
You have to….need to…..MUST do it again.

Can you relate?

For me it was something primal…..I HAD to have it and I usually did.

In the beginning when I’d get hit with ‘the fever’, it had a religious connotation in my mind. To me, it was Satan tempting me. I guess the devil made a good scapegoat but after the deed was done I had a heavy price to pay for my religious conviction…….guilt.

I got over that quickly.

When I first had sex it became the most fantasticmostamazingest toy you could play with (as a gay guy) and I practiced and practiced ‘honing my skill’ lol. I gave myself a year to have fun, a year of asking myself no questions, and no guilt. I reasoned that a year was the perfect amount of time to have fun and get it out of my system. Even though this was the late 80s I knew enough to be safe. I’d heard the rumors the AIDS was even in small town Idaho and I heeded them.

Thank God.

But 12 months didn’t cure me and I have to say with all sincerity and candor …it was fantastic.
I even did that juvenile guy thing and kept a list. Mine was in a foolproof practically unbreakable code however, just in case it was discovered accidentally.

“10/3/87 HGMBJ in my car”

I’m sure you can figure it out.

As an added safeguard, I had a hiding place for it too. There was a space in between the wallpaper and the wall of my closet and I would slip it between. Although that house was sold long ago, I’m sure it’s still there…..or someone found it and had a good laugh.

So the fever.

I’m pleased to say it still hits me head on every so often but it’s changed a bit. Sex with a stranger isn’t appealing in any way shape or form to me anymore. Perhaps it’s a sign of age, or maturity but I’m glad it’s evolved because there is no other person I can even fathom turning to than my partner Doug to tame the beast, satiate the urge, and feed the fever……because there’s no fucking way this particular fever can be starved.

And no way I would even try.

Acompanying Daily Aural: Madonna: Fever
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Real Housewife of Atlanta Sadness


Late on the trend as usual, I just started watching Bravo's  Real Housewives of Atlanta, and this morning I read an article on CNN that Kandi Burruss the newest cast member, was mourning the death of her fiance today. 

Apparently he died after a fight the night before.

Kandi, a noteable record producer and performer in her own right, is my favorite cast member simply because I get a genuine vibe from her.  She's someone I wouldn't just want to know but have as a friend.

Her fiance, Ashley Jewell was on the show quite a bit and Kandi truly appeared in love with this guy.  On the series, she had to convince her relatives that he was a good man, and father. While she had a hard time turning their opinions around, she eventually succeeded.

According to police, he died after a fight at an Atlanta club October 2nd.  

I feel for anyone who loses a loved one, and wish her the best.
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Friday, October 2, 2009

Time Travel Thursday (a day late)


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No Heat, Skinny(ier) Jeans, Tool Of The Week, & Mary Mary Mary


Busy couple of days around 'casa del Geffe'...

The furnace in this abode went out 5 days ago....which wouldn't make a difference in summertime, but with temperatures dropping to 29 deg overnight?  Makes it a tad bit frosty.    Actually freezing.   Hopefully they'll have it fixed today.   Thank God I bought that space heater several years ago!

Since I threw out all my sweats last year (sweat pants make you fat...not sure if you knew this) when the temperature began to plummet I had to find something to wear other than my gym shorts...so I dug into the back of my closet and pulled out a couple pairs of jeans.   I hastily pulled up a pair and was disappointed that they were a little snug.  Not binding, not blood constricting...just on the verge of being tight.   My despair turned to joy however when I realized I had pulled out the jeans I hadn't fit into for 3 years......3 sizes smaller than the last pair I wore. Celebration!  The exercise/diet is working.    It's been hard to gauge some of the progress because I don't own a scale, but I'm on the right track! 

And my 'Tool Of The Week'!  (Hope you weren't thinking something porn related although that's an idea) I'm talking about Jon Gosselin.  I love the beginning of the CNN article yesterday.  "Remember the kid growing up who threatened to take his ball home when he didn't get picked for a team? Well that's Jon Gosselin".  Suddenly playboy Jon wants to stop production of the show because it would be best for his kids.   Did he ever consider his behavior post divorce had nothing to do with what's "best for his kids"?   I used to hate Kate...now I think she must've been a saint for putting up w/this stain for a dad.  On Larry Kings show, he lamented that his kids were taken advantage of because none of the money from the show was put back for them.  Well hey douchebag!  Wasn't that your job to begin with???  Further, I'm sure all those trips, apartment hunting at Trump Plaza, multiple sports cars, motorcycles and wooing of your little fame ho's would've made a substantial deposit in your eight little kiddies bank accounts.   And wouldn't time spent, oh I don't know...actually BEING a father have made a huge difference in their wellbeing?  Hmmm? I cannot S T A N D this guy.  Okay...rant over.

Lastly I've been devoted to Hulu during my 'Big Chill', and have been watching The Mary Tyler Moore Show.  I LIVED for this show as a kid, and yes I'm sure my Dad was ever so proud at the time.   I've been watching the first season and I still just love MTM, especially the Christmas episode.  If I was straight, she'd be the girl I'd go for in a Minneapolis minute....well either her or Martha Stewart.   I am actually entertaining the fun idea of recreating the opening of her show when I go to visit my brother in Mpls next time for a blog post.   I think it would be hilarious.
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