In Defense Of Faeries

I watched a movie last night called “Straight Acting”. It was intended to be a documentary with a warm gay fuzzy feeling for masculine guys. It followed the story of a gay mormon who, unhappy with his sexual identity found self acceptance through the testosterone charged sport of rugby. He found this road to self love by being around guys who didn’t fit the gay stereotypes and thought it would be fascinating to interview other athletes in similar sports across the country. Gay Rodeos, Hocky Teams, Rugby championships…this Mary went to them all, and each person interviewed continually bashed the sad and pathetic flamboyant gay…and lamented the lack of He-Man role models in the media during their formative years.

This really bugs me, for a couple reasons:

1) I find people like this to be small minded and usually not very mature in their sexual identity.

2) I used to be like this.

I straddle both sides of the limp-wristed fence. I was an obviously feminine kid who was butched up by my dad and the public school system. I grew to be one of those ‘Straight Acting’ guys….and hated seeing feminine traits in others even when I came out.

I’m not proud of that.

It wasn’t until about 2003 when I was part of a huge group of friends who like others all across the country, reserved their Sunday nights for watching Queer As Folk. I loved that show for many reasons, but chiefly because of Emmett Honeycut. Remember him? At first he was my least favorite character, but I grew to love him in stages. It wasn’t until my best friend Rodney gushed over why he loved Emmett that I too joined the bandwagon and as a result grew in my perception of faeries. The line from the show that sticks with me is: “It takes a lot of courage to be a queen in a world full of commoners”.
The thing is….personal and sexual expression are intertwined and whether you like to do hair or wrestle steers to the ground, it shouldn’t matter. We all have value and there are traits to notice and admire in all of us. I am in awe of feminine guys. The courage the have to simply be who they were born to be in the face of public ridicule, harrassment, and personal safety….is astounding.

There’s an old saying that you publicly hate things in others which you privately fear yourself to be…and I think that’s true. Because, when it all comes down to it…….whether you’re the mascu lenniest or the fiercest swishiest of the gay rainbow at the end of the day, we all like cock.

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I Want To Work Here....Seriously

I've been in love with this vid for a few weeks now, it never fails to make me smile.

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Oh Good Gawd....I'm An Oompa Loompa

Yup.....those were my first words this morning.

I stumbled out of bed, started my morning routine and when I finally looked in the mirror, with a mouth over-flowing with toothpaste , I actually half shouted, "Oh my god....I'm an oompa loompa!"

I have a particular bronzer I've been using for quite awhile now and it's fantastic.   Apply once every three days and you have a faint....natural.....barely noticeable bronze tint all week long.    I love it.  

Last night however....I grabbed the 'other bottle' because I was running a little low on the good stuff.   I hadn't used this one in about a year, and that was back when I was tanning before a trip (yeah, it's a 'thing' I do)...I thought it looked a little too dark at the time so I stopped using it, but never actually threw it away.  
So.......being the lilly white mostly irish gay boy that I am......apparently when you have no color to begin with, the damn stuff turns your skin ORANGE!

Washing my face helped. 

Shaving also, 'helped'.

I'm still orange.

It reminds me when I was back in highschool and I wanted blonde hair.  One weekend I bought this spray called 'Sun In'.  It promised "natural blonde hair in days" and I drenched myself in the stuff.    I thought it looked great until I went to school under the flourescent lighting and people kept asking why I dyed my hair orange.  

Maybe I'm just an Oompa Loompa at heart.

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Guess Who's Gonna Be On The Podcast!

Jonny McGovern!

Anybody who truly knows me, is fully aware of how in love I am with Jonny, his podcast, and his co hosts!  (in a completely non dangerous/psychotic way of course)

In addition to being the funniest, faggiest and well put-together podcast on iTunes, he, and his team, are to me, the 'most fabulous' in every possible way.

Now I've met some cool famous people.....numerous country superstars including Garth Brooks, Clint Black, Trace Adkins, Martina McBride and others, all thanks to my radio gig.   I've even been fortunate enough to shake hands with Martha Stewart, be at an event in Boise with Bruce Willis and say hi to Kiefer Sutherland. Now I am not trying to name drop in the douchiest way possible (although I already know I've succeeded), because we've all met stars at one time or another.....but as awesome as all those people were for me to meet?  

I am MORE excited about Jonny McGovern! 

(My assistant Karyn who works w/me on the podcast, just told me she pee'd a little over the phone and truth be told, so did I)

Now if I just don't fuck it up! 

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And The Blogs Were Quiet...........

With one or two exceptions, most of my favorite blogs have been eerily quiet today.

Is Thursday a holiday I didn't know about?

Did everyone take the day off because they were pissed off about Maine?

Even comments seem to be way down on blogs across the board.

I started thinking about what it would be like if bloggers shut their cyber doors for awhile......not a pretty picture.

Wherever you are today, I hope your Thursday is going great!

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Time Travel Thursday

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Story Behind The Pictures

Betcha can't guess the story these two polaroids are telling.

See, they're evidence photos from around 1982.   I found them the last time I was helping my mom go through her stuff.

Back in the day, my little 5'2 mom was a regional security officer for Payless Drugstore.  She oversaw all the stores and personnel in the state, and regularly worked the one in our town. 

While my mom and I have a complicated relationship today, I was extremely proud of her career when I was growing up and thought she had the coolest job ever.  The home store had a catwalk, only accessible by outside doors and required a twenty foot vertical climb up a steel ladder.  Once you reached the top there was a narrow hallway running the length of the store with rows of two way mirrors looking out onto the sales floor.  My mom would walk that hallway watching people with her high powered binoculars and was really good at picking out the criminals.
I LOVED visiting her at work.  Mainly because I could use the second pair of binoculars and watch all the hot guys....close up....in great detail if you get my drift.  My mom would be following someone suspicious at one end of the hallway, and I'd be 150 feet on the other end, often thankful the darkness hid my huge erection.
The photos above tell the obvious story of a college girl's theft of a butterfinger and a tube of lipstick.  The other story they speak to, but isn't as obvious is that of a little woman who picked up a  FBI agents, professionals from all walks of life, teenagers, parents who made their kids steal, an off duty policeman, a white supremicist wanted on federal charges of murder even a transexual she showed immense compassion for at a time when that wasn't usually the case....and so many more during a career that lasted more than 22 years.   My little mom was literally shot at once while working in Boise, and at home, she had a knife pulled on her three or four times, and was thrown to the ground, almost ran over twice and foiled numerous cases of employee theft.   

To look at her today you would never guess all that history about my mom in a million years, but these, now retro, kinda cool polaroids offer a glimpse into a fascinating past.

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Remember In Legally Blonde When.....

<==  This happened?


Visit

thelisp.blogspot.com
and you'll see why I felt this way!


Nuff said.  lol

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Queen Latifah Sunday

It's a Queen Latifah Sunday for me today.

"You can't be a 'Queen' Geoff, you're a boy!"

"Ahma gay boy baby...THAT's why I can be a queen today."

After an early movie, handing out candy to sweet kids, some with no shoes on (Call CPS!) and eating way to much sludge that I'll have to work off on monday, I think I've earned today.

It's a lazytakecareobusiness type o'sunday for me, and it's gonna last ALL DAY. 

An extra hour of life, Queen Latifah's new track (which is growing on me), a delicious breakfast, podcast, emails and baking goodies for a carebox.  Oh yeah, and the man I love....can't forget THAT!

Let your inner QL out baby!   She may be crowded in that little glass closet with Anderson Cooper and Jodi Foster, but she is big, brassy and fabulous!

I hope you're enjoying your sunday as much as I am!

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