Saturday, February 13, 2010

Danger Of Facebook

I'm assuming by now, just like in the movie "The Body Snatchers" you have slept next to your alien pod and are now on Facebook, right?   If not, don't soon will be.

I'm on Facebook, and I have to say I'm not a 100% fan of the site.   Not because you have to understand the privacy settings, or because it can take over your life...but because of the emotional crap it brings up.  

It used to be, when you were done with High School, other than class reunions every ten years or so, you were done.   Now, not so much.  Thanks to facebook, people you knew eons ago...some barely so, are now back in your life, and it's not just old school chums either.   I've had people track me down I never thought I'd see again, let alone had any desire to.  

True, the ignore/unfriend button is there, but that has consequences too.   In the beginning I accepted a friend invite from a former best friend.   In a moment of nostalgia I thought it would be okay to reestablish some kind of tie but when all he did was dredge up really awful feelings I quietly unfriended him and all of our old (still his) posse'.    When he realized I'd done so, he began emailing a few still mutual friends having them ask me why I'd unfriended him, and  on and on.    I couldn't believe it.    I almost deleted my whole facebook membership because I kept thinking "I'm freakin 40 and why am I feeling like I'm back in school?!" 

You have to remember FB is part of the new media and our understanding of all it's implications are still young.  Don't get me wrong....I like it, alot...however like any new technology/social phenom, it has a learning curve because admit it or not, there are dangers that go hand in hand with Facebook.  (stalkers, hackers, emotional toll and even coming out all over again.  Now THAT was fun)

Below is a slide show I did of my highschool memory book for my old classmates.  It's set to Aqua's "Back in the 80's".  Thought you might get a kick out of it.  Their live version is in the Daily Aural on the top left....I am still just so in love with this group.


Brooke Santor said...

I am not on face book as of yet but who knows. I do like your vid though

Sean said...

What I find interesting with most of the new technologies and social media is that teens are the early adapters and are thereby mostly responsible for creating the etiquette in how and when to use them - which is there is no etiquette.

Larry Ohio said...

I have gone through/am going through the same sorts of things in FB with my old high school friends. One of them found me and suddenly I had 25 friend requests. After getting stressed, I created a friend list specifically for them and gave them heightened privacy settings. I didn't unfriend them, but they basically have no access to my profile anymore.

You'd think that after 25 years the bad memories would have faded, but no. They are as fresh as ever.

Good luck with it.

Stan in NH said...

I think it is all how you use it and how much weight you give to what you post, what you read, and what you look for. For the most part, we have established norms for netiquette and for the most part people follow them. As long as we have pasts, we'll have people in them who we do and do not want to reconnect with. The trick is how you balance your interactions. You can keep those "borderliners" on your friends list and just turn off their notices.
Some people connect to hundreds of people and some just want a close circle. You have the power to decide how you want to use it. And you have the power to accept or reject anyone. Those decisions get gray sometimes, I understand. But if you want my advice, determine your purpose and use before you accept/reject friends, and then just explain to those you reject what your purpose is. They can always send you updates via the message system (and visa versa) without connecting as friends.
Hope that helps.

Lawrence said...

I have experienced this as well. I think learning curve describes it perfect, I like Stans suggestions to. There is a poem about people who come into your life and leave it - and that it's all for a reason.

Tai said...

Will you come back? So much fun out there. Just learn how to control it :D Life's too short not to join Facebook LOL

steven corry said...
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steven corry said...
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Kim and Victoria said...

I guess I'm lucky - or is it just unpopular - no old school chums have tried to "friend" me on FB.

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