Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Chunky Blue Jeans Bitch

So the one freakin day I forget to take my dog zapper (a harmless, supposedly sonic repelling device) I'm on my walk, burnin those carbs and jammin w/my headphones on...and I get attacked by a dog.   Yup, that's right.   On the last leg of the walk I'm crusin by a field where a farmer is baling hay and his chunky wife in her tight chunky blue jeans is out in their field with about 4 or 5 dogs...ALL unleashed.  They rushed me at the fence, but couldn't get to me so I gave her a dirty look and kept walking thinking that was that.  Wrong.   Less than a tenth of a mile away as I reached the non country portion of the walk, I feel a muzzle on my right arm.  I spin around to see one of the dogs had escaped and decided I was tasty.  I punched him before he latched on to me, spun around, hit a fence and then hit the ground where I kicked him away.   
When I got to my feet, I was pissed.  
Chunky blue jeans woman NOW decides to start calling her dog back...and I decided to start calling her a few very choice, angry, ugly words in a very very loud voice.   I'm alright, but after reporting the incident to the police I'm left scratched up, pulled muscles and kind of cranky.   
How's YOUR week??


craig said...


KDNA said...

ACK! Some people shouldn't own animals and just stick to houseplants. Dumb Bitch!

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