Monday, March 1, 2010

Confession Time

(Taps the microphone)
"Hello, My name is Geoff"
"Hi Geoff"
"I was a serial masturbator"

Self pleasure.  What's the big deal?

I remember when I was a little kid....(and I mean little like five or six), and my mom scolding me to "keep my hand out of my pajamas."

What did I know?   It felt good.  

I remember her swatting my hand a couple times after my nightly prayers because it seemed to have a mind of it's own and strayed down south.  Eventually I would watch her disappear down the stairs, only to poke her head back up suddenly  making sure I'd received the message that touching myself was a bad thing.

Mothers and masturbation.  Am I the only one?   I know it's fucked up to make that association, but that's my earliest memory on what was soon to become an important skill and a beloved hobby.  Like most boys I became really good at it too which was kind of interesting since I really only have one healthy testicle.   Given my enthusiasm for masturbating as a teen and beyond, I've often wondered how much more intense my sex drive would have been if I'd had two balls.  It's a scary thought.

It makes me smile to think of all the places I "did the deed" as a teenager and then during the inbetween getting laid times as an adult.   I did it everywhere....and before you get too grossed out....I was meticulously clean.  But the need to cum was intense.  I remember jerking off while driving home from school, at work, the side of a country road and the list goes on and on.

My funniest memory was when I was working late, and I'd just finished cumming when a co-worker walked in.  All our desks were in this one common area and we were at opposite ends, and I sat w/my pants around my ankles, dick hanging out, praying he wouldn't come over to chat.  He actually reads this blog from time to time, and I think I told him about that lol.

My favorite time....and yes I'm going to share,  was when I was about 17.   I'd woke up in my new bedroom which my color-blind father had just painted a hideous yellow color.  The sun was streaming in and the room practically glowed. My hand slipped beneath my briefs and I had one of the best orgasms I've ever had.  Post orgasm I tend to laugh as the rush swells in my chest.  I don't know why, I just do...it's like a pure feeling of joy, and I remember thinking "This is the most perfect way in the world to wake  up". 

And my confession?     It IS the most perfect way in the world to wake up!

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

this is why i love ur blog

KenPaul66 said...

Funny posting, Geoff ! Even as a teenager I've always been able to take or leave masturbation but there was this one time when I couldn't help myself...

As a teen, my first job was working in a shoelace factory. I was the guy that put the little plastic tips on the ends. It must have been a combination of wearing tight jeans that day and leaning up against the rumbling machines, but I popped a boner right there in front of everybody ! Not good, because I was very shy at the time and worked around nothing but giggling teenage girls. I had to go to the bathroom, lock myself in a stall and "remedy" the situation before I could walked back out into the factory floor without embarrassing myself too bad. LOL ! Man, that was a long time ago.

Sean said...

I haven't laughed after jerking off but have done it quite a few times after really good sex.

A Lewis said...

Hey, it's every boy's play toy...right? I mean, it's always right there...waiting....waiting. And in spite of what we both apparently prayed to stop over and over again, we now LOVE LOVE it. As Martha would say, it's a good thing.

Lawrence said...

I found your post inspiring.

Wonder Man said...

i think we all are serial jo peeps

Michael Rivers said...

Great post! It's also the perfect thing to do after work and then again right before bed. I haven't slowed down much since puberty. Sometimes for fun I do the math to get a rough idea how many times I must have done this. LOL. On average, twice a day since 12-14. Sometimes 4, 5, 6 times during teen years.

Amazing.

Geoff said...

Thanks Anon/ Ken...that's hysterical! (I never knew there was a job for that either), Sean...I don't do it all the time, but it does happen. What can I say? Lewis you hit the nail on the head...it IS a good thing lol. / Lawrence, I hope you put that inspiration to good use (and had a chuckle after....oh wait that's me). Wonderman, I'm pretty sure you are right about that!

StevieB said...

Sometimes people ask why I have my car's windows tinted soooo dark. Long commutes get boring.

lehuutai said...

Hi Geoff!
Thanks for helping me talking about it. I haven't got caught after work action LOL maybe someday LOL

David said...

Is this show and tell time? Well, maybe tell. My best was when I was 16. We had a house with a pool and my sister had a small 10 x 10 playhouse, carpeted and the walls covered with "paintings" she had painted. I remember the breeze coming in through the windows, allowing the sun to peek in and touch my body. She would kill me is she knew. She loved that playhouse. But knowing it had been soiled by her big brother ...

Geoff said...

StevieB: I like that idea! (need your window's cleaned?)

Lehuutai: I wouldn't recommend it!

David: Your poor sister? (and lucky playhouse!)

 
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