Saturday, October 3, 2009

The Fever


This is about sex, so be warned.

Men view sex differently than women, and gay men ....well we view it the same as straight men...we just have a hell of a lot more of it.

Growing up, I always referred to it as ‘the fever’.
To me, that was when ….out of the blue……every thought, every urge every impulse was all about s-e-x………. bigtime.

Totally unexpected 'lust', 'the urge'…“the fever“.

Every so often it would hit me head on, like a hijacked inner city bus: big, powerful, noisy…and not very clean lol.
“Sir, just pay the faire. You’re getting on to get off Sir. No argument accepted.”
None was ever offered.

I was always amazed when it would strike. It wasn’t like I was deprived (although I wasn’t exactly promiscuous) so I was baffled as to why lust would just slam me up against the wall and make me it‘s bitch.

Now if you can‘t tell I’m not just writing about being horny…….I‘m talking about the irresistible urge for cock.

Where you literally can almost feel a dick in your throat or up a guys ass…..and ‘almost feeling it’ isn’t good enough either. You HAVE to feel it.

I’m talking about the experience of a stubble scraping, teeth clicking, tongues dueling spit sharing kiss that is hard and tender at the same time where you feel like your floating, if you stand up you’d fall down dizzy and that kiss could go on and on forever…and when you’re done?
You have to….need to…..MUST do it again.

Can you relate?

For me it was something primal…..I HAD to have it and I usually did.

In the beginning when I’d get hit with ‘the fever’, it had a religious connotation in my mind. To me, it was Satan tempting me. I guess the devil made a good scapegoat but after the deed was done I had a heavy price to pay for my religious conviction…….guilt.

I got over that quickly.

When I first had sex it became the most fantasticmostamazingest toy you could play with (as a gay guy) and I practiced and practiced ‘honing my skill’ lol. I gave myself a year to have fun, a year of asking myself no questions, and no guilt. I reasoned that a year was the perfect amount of time to have fun and get it out of my system. Even though this was the late 80s I knew enough to be safe. I’d heard the rumors the AIDS was even in small town Idaho and I heeded them.

Thank God.

But 12 months didn’t cure me and I have to say with all sincerity and candor …it was fantastic.
I even did that juvenile guy thing and kept a list. Mine was in a foolproof practically unbreakable code however, just in case it was discovered accidentally.

“10/3/87 HGMBJ in my car”

I’m sure you can figure it out.

As an added safeguard, I had a hiding place for it too. There was a space in between the wallpaper and the wall of my closet and I would slip it between. Although that house was sold long ago, I’m sure it’s still there…..or someone found it and had a good laugh.

So the fever.

I’m pleased to say it still hits me head on every so often but it’s changed a bit. Sex with a stranger isn’t appealing in any way shape or form to me anymore. Perhaps it’s a sign of age, or maturity but I’m glad it’s evolved because there is no other person I can even fathom turning to than my partner Doug to tame the beast, satiate the urge, and feed the fever……because there’s no fucking way this particular fever can be starved.

And no way I would even try.

Acompanying Daily Aural: Madonna: Fever

7 comments:

Kevin said...

your hottest post ever.

larry said...

i'm sweating. good writing geoff!!!

Larry Ohio said...

Great post Geoff. Can I relate? Hell yeah! I'm guessing all gay men feel this way.

I like your codes. I did that when I was in high school, and I'm glad I did. Thanks to my notes, I know that today, Oct. 4, is my 29-year anniversary of losing my virginity. Woo hoo!

Scotty Farrell said...

Amazing post Geoff! I was a good Mormon boy and had the same conflict but I think that just goes to show that we are what we were born to be. Long live the fever!

Charlie said...

uh, WOW :!)

kris gilman said...

GENIUS metaphors!!! “Sir, just pay the faire. You’re getting on to get off Sir. No argument accepted.” and "I was baffled as to why lust would just slam me up against the wall and make me it‘s bitch."

Will said...

I can relate--big time. I believe I have a couple, ahem, years on you guys so I'm in a position to reassure you that it doesn't diminish with age--and I hope it never does!

 
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